Just like that drawer in your room that never seems to be organized, your Facebook friend list can get a little messy. If you’re like me, many posts that pop up on your newsfeed that you scroll past without even reading them. With Spring cleaning on the brain, it might be time to do the unthinkable: UNFRIEND some folks. Here are a few signs that you need to man up and just click that button:
1. You have no idea who they are.
“Hmm… new friend request. Well, I don’t know this person, but they’re kind of cute, and we have a lot of mutual friends. Sure, why not? Another addition to my Facebook entourage.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this conversation in my head. But, in all honesty, if you can’t place them, and you’ve never talked to them, they shouldn’t be your friend on facebook.
2. They constantly post gag-worthy things about their significant other.
You can post a cute couple picture now and again, I’ll allow it. But if someone is constantly using terms like “honey-sweetie,” “cloud munchkin,” and “my little princess puppy with a cherry on top,” they have crossed the line. De-friend away.
3. You cyber-stalk their profile, and they barely know your first name.
Hey, we’re not above a little stalking from time to time, it’s a fun hobby. But if you have never spoken to this person and you know their favorite movie is Mulan, they’ve read The Great Gatsby a million times, and you’ve memorized every quote in their info box… you need an intervention. Being a creep isn’t cute.
4. They’re cyber-stalking you.
When someone likes a photo of you from two years ago, it’s whatever. They were stalking and left a trail; novice mistake. But if someone you aren’t good friends with is constantly commenting and liking every single thing you do on social media, say au revoir.
5. They invite you to every single event.
No, I don’t want to see your band play every single weekend. No, I don’t want to come to a fundraiser across the country. No, I don’t want to come to your 80s themed birthday party. Nothing you’ve ever invited me to has ever sounded fun. They’re not even a friend at this point, they’re basically just the modern equivalent of a sleazy car salesman.
6. They post depressing, TMI things all the time.
This person is a real downer; they post every day about how terrible their life is. If you have a computer with internet access and a Facebook account, then your life probably isn’t really all that bad. It’s a huge bummer to see that on your timeline all the time. Facebook is not your therapist. if you need someone to vent to, pick up the phone.
7. You hated them in high school, and still do.
You’ve left home and now have great, new friends in college. You’re a strong, independent, confident young adult. Why do you need cyber connections to people you don’t like? You don’t have to see them everyday anymore, so there’s no reason to pretend to tolerate them any longer. Go wild.
And last but most importantly:
8. The Ex.
Relationships are hard, but when they end, let them. Especially if things ended badly, you have to unfriend them. It isn’t a slight against them, it’s because you have absolutely no self-control to stop stalking their profile constantly. You’re just setting yourself up. It’s hard, but in the long run you will not regret it.
Now go have fun and click that button!