How to Deal When Someone Disagrees with Your Major

I’m majoring in film—something I’ve wanted to do since my sophomore year of high school—but I still get raised eyebrows every Thanksgiving from extended family members. They can’t believe I’m a sophomore in college who still believes that film is a viable career option. Each year, I field queries about “how I expect it to work” once I graduate, but as the years go by, handling the questions with grace and tact is becoming more and more difficult.

Many students, especially those in the creative arts, face this response every time they explain their major. Here’s what to say back.

“College is expensive. Is your major worth it?”

If your parents are footing some or all of your tuition bill, it’s not unreasonable to expect some gentle nudging towards a more practical major.  But if the critique is coming from an aunt or your grandfather, why would the money matter to them?

Everyone who asks you to consider college expenses is only doing it because they understand how expensive college really is. If this degree you’re earning doesn’t pan out, you might find that you have to return to college, and this second time you’ll probably have little to no parental support.

If this is the response you’re getting, say, “I know tuition is expensive, but if I have to spend my money on it anyway, I want to graduate with a degree I can be proud of.” There’s not much they can do when you show passion for your major.

“Are you sure this is what you want to do? Really sure?”

A major in film, creative writing or art sounds to an older person like a pipe-dream. How many of us said, “I want to be a singer!” when we were five years old dancing in the bathroom mirror?  This is what the adults in your life are reminded of, and they’re afraid you may “grow up” one day and realize that this isn’t what you see yourself doing in the future.

Remind them of all the school plays you were in and the hours you spent practicing music. Tell them about the first story you wrote or how you feel every time you watch a movie and think, “I could do that.” Doing this will convince them that to you, this isn’t a dream. This is a career, and you’re ready to embark on it.

“It won’t be useful.”

I have a cousin who studied biomedical engineering, and another cousin studying computer science. Their parents couldn’t be prouder, considering that the rate of growth for both of those jobs is increasing every year. Those are jobs that will be “useful” and “necessary” in the future.

Art is useful too—studies have shown that regularly attending an art class decreases stress and increases student performance. Unfortunately, art classes are considered “unimportant” because at the moment, our world is engulfed in a “Technology Renaissance.” It has even reached the point where public schools with limited funding are electing to shut down their art programs in favor of improving their STEM courses.

Your paintings, stories, films and poetry are useful because through your art you will show the world as you see it. Some stories even brought about change—Uncle Tom’s Cabin is said to have been a major impetus for the Civil War, which eventually brought about the freedom of slaves in North America.

“You won’t make a career out of it.”

I have heard this phrase the most—not surprising given the notorious competitiveness of the film industry. Here’s what I said to my parents, who now stop bringing it up:  “It’ll be difficult to find jobs, but I’ll have the motivation to work at it because I need to be on a film set like I need air to breathe. It won’t feel like work. It’ll feel like coming home.”

In the end…

Realize that your answers to these questions boil down to a sincere validation in your heart and mind: “Yes, I’m very sure I want to study this. Yes, I know the odds of ‘making it.’ And, yes, I’m willing to put the hard work in.”

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