Well, for starters…it’s October 3rd: Mean Girls day. While Mean Girls has become a modern classic, I think we all sometimes forget the very important message that Mean Girls has taught us. Over the years, I have watched this movie countless times, and I know that I will continue to watch this movie countless more, but there are some important things that we need to talk about, since I think some of y’all are missing the point.
Yes, Mean Girls is supposed to be a funny and over dramatic rendition of high school, but when we take a closer look, the movie actually has some pretty significant points that we all really need to look into. One of the most apparent moments we should pay attention to is when Tina Fey delivers this very important line:
“You have all got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.”
Read that again. I think some of you tend to forget about this line particularly when you talk about this movie, or when you’re not talking about the movie, and you are talking about other women, especially online. While I get that some words have been reclaimed through the feminist movement, namely b*tch, that doesn’t make it okay to slut shame individuals for their choices. It just makes it okay for other people to slut shame people for their choices. And, not only that, but it also creates a culture in which we, as other women, make it okay to shame each other away from the choices we want to make. Just because you don’t believe that someone should be making the choices that they are making, doesn’t mean that you have any right to tell them, as their peer, that they have no right to make that choice. And, on top of that, you certainly shouldn’t use that choice to humiliate them and form a “bad reputation” for them. They are a person just like you. How would you feel if someone started judging you for all the things they deemed bad decisions? Probably not very good, if I were to guess.
In the wake of this movie, which I know we have all seen since it is a cultural icon at this point, I have seen a lot of shaming. I know that it might be against your culture, or that you might be uncomfortable with it, but ultimately, their life is not your life, so who are you to judge another person for living their life the way they want to? (Hint: you are not anyone who should be doing this.)
As an extension of this, over the years, I have seen a lot of hate pass across social media. Some rooted in slut shaming, and some not. It is always hate in the form of comments that are unwarranted, unnecessary, and unwanted. In the midst of the women supporting ALL women movement, it’s really important to call back to a scene like this and reflect on what this means.
When asked, most, if not all, of us will say that we support all women, regardless of race, age, sexuality, ethnicity, economic status, etc. However, what I have seen online is a very different story. I have seen fandoms of women support their favorite female celebrity, but as soon as another female celebrity does something well, they begin bashing that female celebrity because they feel like their favorite’s success is being invalidated by someone else’s success. This mindset needs to stop.
Thinking that someone’s success, or your success, is invalidated through someone else’s success, is not the case. People can be successful in their own ways, in their own times. No, maybe you are not successful right now, but maybe you will be in a year, two years, or ten years. The timeline for success is not fixed, so let’s all stop pretending that it is.
Additionally, if your fave is knocked off the charts by someone else, they are just as worthy of that spot. Your fave held it, and now it is time for someone else’s fave to have a turn. You can’t be upset with someone’s success just because you don’t like the thing that has made them successful.
While we all claim to be part of this movement that supports women in the same way we support men, whether celebrities or otherwise, there is this underlying woman against woman attitude that makes people feel that only one can be on top. Only one women can be successful. Why can’t we all be successful in our own way, in our own time? Why does my success determine your success? (Hint: it doesn’t.)
If there is one thing you take away from my rambling about supporting everyone whether or not you agree with their choices, take this: You are not the stories that other people write about you. When we all support one another in our successes, it can actually be pretty grool.