I love music, mainly weird music. Right now, my playlists feature a ton of Ashnikko, Middle Eastern rap, and Halsey, so it is safe to say I am all over the map. Strange musicals are no exception.
I was never much of a history buff, but I am a sucker for a good rhyme, which means that “divorced, beheaded, died; divorced, beheaded, survived” has never left my head. However, I did think that the annoying rhyme would be just that— a rhyme. Never in a million years could I have anticipated that two college students would create and write a musical where the wives of Henry VIII would together as a modern girl band and compete against each other to see who had the worst time living with Henry.
I could ask myself as a writer: how did I not think of this?? The idea is so outlandish, but it actually works. The wives sing together and in solo performances that talk about their individual lives with each other. The show is less of a show and more of a concert, and it’s one I am paying an arm and a leg to go see on Broadway in March.
I love all the songs from SIX, no surprise there. I tend to go all or nothing, but I did rank them according to how they sound as well as the content in them. All biases aside, Henry really messed up big time.
1. Don’t Lose Ur Head
We are starting off with Anne Boleyn, whose youthful nature and adorable space buns stole the stage for me. Anne sings the events that led to her getting her head chopped off with texting slang mixed in and side comments from the other wives, and she essentially clears her name from the nasty rumors by confirming every single one of them.
2. All You Wanna Do
If we are talking about the competition winner it’s Katherine Howard in my opinion. This song may be upbeat and fun, but the lyrics show how tragic her life actually was. Starting at a young age, Katherine was objectified by men over and over again, and ended up with Henry, who treated her poorly and had her killed at the age of 19. She sings with such a hopeful voice, which deteriorates as the song goes on; it killed me.
3. Six
“Six” details how the lives of the wives would have been different if they hadn’t married Henry. This is them taking back their lives and coming together as a real group. It’s catchy and so so heartwarming, the perfect way to end the show. As an added bonus, the harmonies are truly something else.
4. Get Down
Anne of Cleves is badass as she sings about how Henry rejected her before the relationship really started, and how she became her own king and queen. Her actual fate was the best of all the women: Henry made a sizeable settlement on her and because she complied with the divorce, he made her an honorary member of the royal family. She had a ton of land and lived a long life, which is more than what can be said for the rest of the women on this list.
5. No Way
Another badass queen is here. Catherine of Aragon was married to Henry for 24 years (that takes dedication), but he wanted to divorce her because she couldn’t give him a male heir. She did have a girl, but Henry seemed to forget about that. Throughout the song, Catherine refuses to grant him a divorce and refuses to be replaced. She was replaced, but her attitude gave him a run for his money.
6. Ex-Wives
This is the opening song of the musical. It gives small snippets about each wife, and establishes the chorus, which features a very familiar rhyme. I love this song, it’s just not the best one, since it doesn’t get into the nitty-gritty about everyone. It does give a great overview, though, and works well as an opener and introduction.
7. Megasix
“Megasix” is not actually a song on the album; it’s the finale that ties up the loose ends of both “Ex-Wives” and “Six.” I would be ridiculous not to include it, especially since this song allows audience interaction and is adorable. A perfect end to a perfect musical.
8. I Don’t Need Your Love
Catherine Parr sings about how she has had to marry men in order to survive, and how she wishes she were defined as herself and as her accomplishments (which were great), and not as someone’s wife. It’s sad, but it’s true; she is only known as the one who survived and not by anything else she did in her life as a woman.
9. Haus Of Holbein
This song is entirely whack. Between the German accents, frilly ruffs like Queen Elizabeth wore around her neck and disco sounds in the back, I had no idea what was going on. It’s about Hans Holbein, the man who did the portrait for Anne of Cleves, which apparently was “misleading.” It is also about beauty standards of women and how they could be quite dangerous. I love this song; it is just ranked so low because it is such a trip to listen to. And, the moans in the background don’t help.
10. Heart Of Stone
This song is nothing short of gorgeous in lyrics and voice. Jane Seymour sings about her life with Henry, which is wholesome, she appeared to really love him and the son they had together. In an earlier song, Seymour described herself as the “only one he truly loved” and that may have been true, or he may have never loved any of these women, but what matters is what he meant to her. They both loved each other, which is a win for this generally tragic overall story.