As you probably guessed from the title, I’m one of the rare college students who doesn’t drink coffee. I’ve never liked the smell or concept of it. Like any sane human being, I like to consume things that taste good, and my definition of “good taste” does not include hot, bitter drinks. I usually don’t need caffeine to pull an all nighter, and if I get too sleepy, a bottle of coca-cola does the trick for me. Drinking coffee isn’t a pleasure or necessity for me, but I’ve always wondered if I was missing out on something amazing because I was scared it would be too bitter for me.
This curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to drink an entire cup of coffee. Initially, I was going to do a Venti white chocolate mocha from Starbucks, but I was too intimidated by the idea and size of the coffee, so I got a small mocha from Thinking Cup instead.
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My first sip was disgusting. I couldn’t swallow it, but I didn’t have anywhere to spit it out either. It was very very bitter, and right when I thought I was getting used to that taste and swallowed it, my mouth tasted unbearably bitter again. I wanted to give up on the article, throw my coffee away. I asked my friends why anyone was drinking this monstrosity, and snapchatted my distaste to my best friends back home. I was met with insults and shutdowns. No one wanted to support me on this, and no one explained why it was so bitter and how that was good in any way. It was only after a couple of sips that I exclaimed, “Ugh did he forget to add sugar?” My friends gave me a really judgmental look and answered my rhetorical question. I had to go pick up a packet of sugar and add it in myself. I ran to the counter, and after fumbling for a minute trying to figure out which one was sugar, I picked a Domino and went back to my table, excited to see what change this would bring to my coffee.
It still tasted terrible.
Sure, it was a little less bitter but it was still just as bad. I also started to realize how weirdly milky the consistency was, and call me a hater, but I am not a fan of milk either. Since I was taking too much time, my friends asked me to drink this coffee on the go; like I really needed freezing weather to be added into this equation. I went out with them, and tried to finish my coffee in the time it took me to walk from the Thinking Cup back to my room. I couldn’t do that either. Not one to give up, I took a swig of my coffee once inside my room. Hey, if everyone likes iced coffee, this cold coffee can’t be too bad, right? Wrong. It was absolutely horrible. I would easily put this act in the top three biggest mistakes of my life. It was bitter, super milky, and the lack of warmth meant it wasn’t even refreshing anymore. I threw the cup away.
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While that ended my rant about the taste of the drink, I thought that this small shot of coffee would keep me up for a while. I was wrong there too. The caffeine had no effect on me, and I was sleepy within fifteen minutes of drinking it. That being said, I have to add that I am taking a pill for my migraines that has been messing with my sleep schedule. So my drowsiness could’ve been a result of that, and my coffee had nothing to do with it. Nevertheless, I thought the coffee would do something to help me stay awake for just a little bit, so I was a bit disappointed that I was sleepy so soon.
Final thoughts: I will never ever drink coffee, ever again if I can help it.