When my boyfriend told me eleven days before Valentine’s Day that he was leaving two months earlier than he was supposed to for the Marines boot camp, I was, without a doubt, a bit upset. Of course this is something that is always emotional for any girl who is in love and has to watch their significant other leave for a few months—and probably even more difficult for those who have to see them leave to start a career in the military.
After a few slammed doors, and more than just a few tears, I learned (slowly, yet steadily) to accept it. I knew it was going to be hard (and trust me—it still is) but over time, I’ve come to realize that what my boyfriend is doing is actually a really good thing, and not just for our country, but also for himself as well as, surprisingly so, for our relationship.
In this day in age, we’ve become so dependent on our iPod, our iPhone, our BlackBerry, unlimited texting, and the Internet in general. We’ve become so connected via Facebook, Gchat, FBchat, BBM, that we’ve almost become sort of disconnected, in a way. And that’s why, because I have to look forward to the mail—yes, snail mail—to come each day, I feel even more connected to my boyfriend and I know that our relationship is only getting stronger. Some people say, “Out of sight, out of mind.” But I say, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.”
I was so dependent on receiving those text messages from him every morning, or the occasional phone call during the day, or seeing him when he was in town. We literally were always talking, always communicating somehow, since day one. I would wake up every morning, and often my phone indicated I had a new text. I loved how I could just pick up the phone and call him if something cool happened, or if I was upset about something, or if I just wanted to talk. Before he left for boot camp, we were in a somewhat long-distance relationship. Because I go to school in Boston, and he lived back at home in Connecticut, technically our relationship could be considered “long-distance” although, in reality, it was only a two-hour drive away. But because we were fortunate enough that his mom always made trips to see her sister and family up near Alewife, he became a part of our family in my apartment quite quickly. When he stayed with me, which was usually for at least two weeks at a time, I would see him before I left for school or my internship. He would cook dinner, clean the dishes, take out the trash, and he even went grocery shopping with me. So when he left for boot camp, where he has no access to Internet, no iPhone he can use to text me, and no phone in general to call me, we went from non-stop communicating to cold turkey nothing. Except, of course, the snail mail.
When I received my first letter from him, I was so unbelievably excited. So excited, that because I was in New York at the time, I almost called my roommate (well I did, but then hung up) to have her read the letter to me. It took at least two weeks to receive a letter from him and, in the meantime, I couldn’t send him anything because he had to write first to send his address and battalion information. And then when I finally got a letter from him I couldn’t help but think, “This is actually really romantic.” In a recent letter, I even got a “Dearest Michelle,” and couldn’t help but giggle a bit at how cute, and just so 1940 it sounded.
It really is hard being in a relationship when you don’t get to speak to your significant other. At the same time, I’ve gotten used to waiting to hear from him while doing my own thing and catching up on schoolwork and getting involved on campus. And because I’m just about to graduate, and I’ve got a lot of stuff going on until then, I’m alright that I’m not on the phone 24/7 and that I’m doing my homework instead of watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory with him. Of course, I miss those days and miss him terribly, but it does feel good to get back to the basics—meaning: writing a letter.
When I write to him, I usually write before I go to bed, or when I’m on the train or the bus. During spring break, I found a lot of extra time to write him even twice on some days. It kind of feels like when I’m writing him a letter, I’m actually writing a journal entry. Very therapeutic, I must add. And writing with an actual pen and a piece of paper feels good. Since I got my MacBook four years ago, my fingers have literally been attached to the keyboard. The last time I wrote a letter and sent it in the mail before my boyfriend left, was probably during Girl Scout camp in the third grade when AOL was still something new.
Before he left for boot camp, I thought there was no way in this world I would be able to survive without contacting him. And I think because our relationship has only gotten stronger, and we’ve both been really good at writing each other, it’s not as hard as I thought. Of course I would love to be able to curl up on the couch with him or hear his voice, and the day I could possibly get a phone call from him will be the best day ever, but I’m surviving—and he has too, as well. Maybe, one day, we should all grab a Pilot Pen and a piece of notebook paper and write Dearest whoever, and begin to appreciate a bit more of what we now consider old school. I know I have.