A year ago I reflected on NEDA Awareness week for the first time. As “Every Story Matters” does, I want to re-emphasize that every individual’s body acceptance matters. That wherever you are in you are in your recovery and whatever demons you have faced, your story matters. You matter. Last year I shared my own story for the first time (Every Story Matters.), and if you feel up to it, I encourage you to do the same someday.
For this second part reflecting on this year’s NEDA Awareness week theme, “Come As You Are,” I kept thinking of a beautiful quote that really resonated with me from a mentor I met recently, Dr. Brianna Jacobs.
“You should never feel bad for standing up for your dignity.”
This NEDA Awareness week, is a week where you should indeed not feel bad for standing up for your dignity. Stand up to your eating disorder. Stand up to the people who aided and abetted your eating disorder. Stand up to the toxic comments that fly off ignorant mouths. Stand up to shame. Stand up for your dignity. Stand up for you.
This week is a reminder. A reminder to empower not only ourselves in owning our battle wounds and our stories, but those of others. I am a warrior of anorexia and bulimia, and this week I don’t just stand up for myself and my story, I stand for my fellow warriors of eating disorders.
Shame is a powerful tool that often makes a person feel that their feelings are not valid and that standing up for their dignity is merely impossible. It’s a name we all know and know well.
Standing up to my shame intertwined with my eating disorder is not something that I came to easily; in fact, it took me a very long time. Every blatant abuse tactic from psychotic ballet teachers. Every ignorant comment from a stranger, “Wow that looks like a lot of food!” or “Oh, I never eat lunch.” Every ballet or fitspo instagram picture. Every negative fat talk comment a friend made, “Ugh I’m so fat, I can’t wear these jeans out in public.” It was everything. It all made it hard to stand up for my dignity and combat my eating disorder and its triggers. Triggers that appear when you least expect them to. This past week upon receiving an email about an upcoming costume fitting, I found myself at odds with this very challenge. But then something unexpectedly wonderful happened. One of my best friends, Olivia Galarneau, called me. She wanted to make sure I was okay and to offer her support. Her simple act of support helped me gain the strength to face that trigger knowing that she is standing there with me.
My story is ongoing as is yours—as are the challenges and triggers but I don’t have to face them alone. I don’t have to stand up alone and neither do you.
A genuine support system stands with you—always. Embrace them this week.
“Come As You Are” represents owning your story and your feelings—owning your dignity. It’s not embarrassing or weak to share your story and to stand up for yourself. In fact, it’s the opposite. It makes you brave and strong as hell. The ones who try to invalidate you, they are the weak ones and the ones who should be embarrassed.
So, this week may we all embrace those who support us and validate us. May we all stand up for ourselves and for others and most importantly may we all stand for eating disorder awareness.