Your high school sweetheart got a new girlfriend and you’re still single…awesome. The home-town bestie you
were married to on Facebook is now engaged to her new best friend from college. And you’ve been so busy at Emory, you over-achiever you, that you have neglected many of your friends from home—even forgetting to wish them happy birthday online!
Looks like winter break is going to be a lonely, ceaseless pajama-fest between you, your Netflix, and your faithful kitty cat… unless you pull away from that snuggie and make the effort to restore your relationships from home!
Old BFF
Ooh, publicly divorced on Facebook… harsh, (ex) bestie, harsh. It’s hard to accept when old friends move
on, whether it’s from going to different schools or no longer sharing the same interests. But you two were once great friends, and there might be grounds for friendship renewal if…
- You two were best friends for most of high school or longer
- You still have a lot in common
- You shared a really challenging experience
- You have a lot of mutual friends
- You both are not very busy over winter break… there’s a good chance she hasn’t kept up with many relationships from home, either!
Don’t necessarily take it offensively that she divorced you online—maybe she felt like you weren’t keeping up with her. Maybe she got a boyfriend and they wanted to go Facebook official. And maybe she was just the one to acknowledge that both of you have new friends in college whom you’ve inevitably grown closer to through proximity and shared experiences, and she took the plunge to recognize that. Go ahead and call her to go gift shopping or get a holiday manicure together—she’ll probably be glad that you reached out!
Ex Boyfriend
Friendship renewal with exes can be difficult. This might be a lost cause, especially if…
- Things ended on a bad note
- He has a new girlfriend and she’s SUPER clingy or jealous
- Your relationship was mostly physical
- He still likes you and you don’t feel the same way
- You still like him…a LOT… and he doesn’t feel the same way
- You hooked up with a bunch of his friends, or vice versa
- You have absolutely nothing in common anymore
Yeeeah, that’s a pretty long list of cons for befriending an ex. BUT, these are not necessarily deal breakers, just things to keep in mind if your efforts at friendship don’t avail immediately.
Fortunately, there are also plenty of signs for potential friendship, if…
- Your relationship ended amicably or only because of college
- You had a solid friendship base before or while you guys dated
- You are completely over each other…COMPLETELY
- You have a lot of mutual friends (and might have to forge some kind of friendship regardless of whether any of the aforementioned negative situations apply)
- You still have a lot in common
If the latter situations apply, text Ex Boyfriend for a coffee catch-up (and don’t even think of letting him pay for you!) or a group hang-out with old friends. If you see him around town or at a party, start a conversation about a neutral, non-romantic event you both shared (remember senior prank night…??). He’ll be reminded of the fun you two had together and might want to hang out for some more laughs!
Going home from college freshman year is majorly exciting—everyone wants to know if/how their friends have changed, who turned into a wild child, who gained the freshman fifteen, etc. As an upperclassman, home may feel less like “home” than campus. But escaping DUC food and exams is not the only thing you should be excited about on your return home—go ahead make contact with your closest pals from high school… and invite them over to your house for some Netflix.
Happy Holidays!!