Survey the Maggie’s crowd on a typical weekend night (Thursdays included) and you’ll see swarms of stilettos, flowing locks of blown-out hair, chain-strapped cross-body purses and of course, lots and lots of leather jackets. To me, though, it’s a miracle that these leather jackets make it to Maggie’s at all. Mags is the late-night stop, and crowds pile in after they’ve spent enough time (not to mention money) at the club, or drank enough beer at the frat house. And the leather jackets, of course, come along for the $3 cab rides back and forth, as long as they don’t get left somewhere along the way.
Leather jackets are the go-to item when girls decide that short skirts and spaghetti-straps continue to be in season, despite Atlanta’s record-breaking lows. But even as the puffy coats, Uggs and gloves become less necessary and spring temperatures take over, the leather jacket still completes an outfit.
We’ll slip on our heels, and swipe on some gloss – but just before we grab our jackets, we find ourselves asking, “What the hell am I going to do with this thing once we get there?” Frat boys and their pledges would sweep up on tips if they would just set up a goddamn coat check. Short of stitching in one of my middle-school-era camp name-labels, the best choice seems to be to just hold onto my coat all night – and if an ugly guy comes up to grab my hand for a dance, at least I’ll be able to offer a plausible reason for my refusal.
But between my bag, my phone, and my cup, I just don’t have enough hands to keep track of my jacket. The entire night, I’m itching to put it down somewhere, and when I do, I always seem to come close to waltzing out the door without it – my leather jacket never to be seen again: my mother’s worst nightmare.
So what happens when we get to the party, and the front-door threshold feels like the entrance to a sauna? The leather jacket becomes unnecessary – a mere fashion statement at this point – and an annoyance, at that. So, here are some ideas I’ve come up with to help us girls solve the leather jacket conundrum:
- At the frat party, peg a hottie that lives in the house, and plant it in his room so you can return to it (read: him) later. If there aren’t any boys you see yourself returning to after a long night out, let one of them think you’re coming back for more…but then just wait and text him in the morning after you’ve returned from your walk of shame sans jacket.
- If you’re drunk and hot enough when you walk into a party, you’ll be optimistic that your leather jacket will remain untouched if kept in a “secret” hiding spot. You could go with an upstairs closet, a kitchen cabinet, behind a couch, or in a large plant pot. Pick your poison, but just remember which one you chose. If you leave without it, you can’t trust that it will grow legs, get in a cab, and bbm you to “meet at Mag’s” like your friends will if you lose them.
- Maybe if you buy enough drinks at the club, it won’t be too much to ask the bartender (aka. Your new BFF!) if he can keep track of your jacket while you’re letting loose on the dance floor. Some extra bills might be involved, but he’ll keep it safe for you…just don’t expect him to keep tabs on your BAC while he’s at it.
-
Forget the trendy wallet-on-a-chain for a night and bring your Longchamp tote instead! Rumple your jacket up into a ball, and toss it on in. Throw the bag over your shoulder for the night, and you’ve got everything you need. Expect a few weird looks, but the only explanation you owe those who cast judgment are your plans for a sleepover with the latest Campus Cutie. Note: if these plans are real, you might want to consider throwing in a toothbrush, perfume, deodorant and clean underwear?
- Have a back-up leather jacket for going out. Save your Vince jacket for dinner dates and places where people actually look at what your wearing, and buy a cheap jacket (think Forever 21) to throw around Maggie’s. Chances are you’ll be able to keep better track of the piece-of-crap than you would anything else of value, and you’ll never lose the thing. So, your $18.99 pleather alternative will last you longer than anything else in your closet. Go figure.
- It might not be the most glamorous option, but perhaps leaving your jacket on is the best choice you could make. With an alcohol layer and a leather layer, prepare to sweat bullets, but suck it up and leave it on if you don’t trust your drunk self to keep it all together. Just layer on the deodorant, and don’t forget your make-up preserving oil-blotters.
-
Umm, I guess if you’re desperate enough, you can tie it around your waist…but, like, really? Unless you’re dressing up for the ‘80’s and have a neon scrunchie from American Apparel in your hair, this should NEVER be an option.
- If none of these options work for you, then the only suggestion I have left is to just forget about the jacket altogether. As long as you can run in stilettos, you’ll have no problem making it swiftly to and from the cab, despite freezing early-morning temperatures. (Luckily, at Emory, there are only several weeks out of the entire semester during which temperatures drop below 50 degrees.) Good news is, in the morning, the only things that will reek of cigarettes are your hair, your pillowcase (or his) and your outfit – your jacket will have retained its sweet smell of leather by having spent the night safely in your closet.
I wish I had some foolproof advice about how to handle your leather jacket on a night out…or at least offer some tips for dancing while holding a drink, a phone, a clutch and a jacket (not to mention all the while sweating your ass off). But, I’m afraid I’m still working on these issues myself. Until I figure out this whole thing for sure, I’ll probably brave the cold – read: wear short skirts and tank tops regardless of how cold it might be outside – so as to protect my beloved leather jacket. I might be shivering, but hey, at least I’ll still look cute.