When I first set foot on Emory’s red-bricked paths, I had no idea that the journey on which I was about to embark would be dramatically different from any I had previously taken. The idea of college, which had been looming over my head for a couple of years, had finally come down to meet me and I was eager to see what awaited me here at Emory. Little did I know that my values were about to be challenged and my innocence stripped away.
Growing up, I was taught to elevate modesty and self-respect above everything else. Timidity and demureness characterized my personality, and I found that others appreciated these aspects of my disposition. My demeanor was viewed as “cute” and “endearing” around boys, which separated me from the “sluts” or “easy girls.” Some thought I was “playing hard to get,” but in reality, I was not playing; rather, I was “hard to get.” My reservations were not because I saw myself as superior to “easy girls,” but rather because I wished to uphold my personal values of self-respect and modesty.
However, my behavior, which had been highly praised in high school, has dubbed me a “prude” in college, a term the Urban Dictionary defines as “a guy or girl who’s afraid to do anything sexual.” My manner has gone from being admired to scorned, complimented to insulted, appreciated to rejected. In my experience, college students ignore the ‘fear’ component of the definition of ‘prude,’ and instead equate the word with reserved. Having casual sex sparingly in college is often referred to as prudish behavior, which in the literal sense falsely implies that there is fear involved in this choice. This implication neglects the more likely reasons for opposition to such activity, which usually concern values and morals more than fear. Thus, the more reserved girl gets the unwanted, undeserved label of being a ‘prude.’
Although the word is only five letters long, it sets a certain social standard for college students. The negative connotations of the word promote promiscuous behavior, and undermine sincere sexual activity. The word is also associated with immaturity, which encourages college students to try their best to avoid any association with the term. Not only is the word incorrectly used, but the way in which it is undermines the excitement of suspense and waiting in a relationship.
Who knew a single word could carry so much meaning?