At one point in time, a salad was just a side to one’s main order of deep-fried deliciousness. But, as times have changed, this so-called ‘rabbit food’ transformed into the preferred meal choice for all those eager to jump right onto the healthy bandwagon. It’s been said that you are what you eat—so, to all you salad eaters out there, here’s what your choice in salad says about you!
1.“All the vegetables, please”
On a bed of greens, you head from one vegetable to the next, layering them up onto your bowl of salad. You create the most colorful and diverse salads imaginable, and while those around you while overtly question this so-called ‘insanity,’ inwardly, they wish they could be you. In all probability, you are incredibly friendly, always hoping to make everyone around feel included. Just like with your vegetables, you don’t want any of them to be left out.
2. The Usual
Trends may come and trends may go, but your salad always stays the same. You’re the person that’s so loyal to your salad that the waiter at your favorite spot doesn’t even bother asking what you want anymore before bringing it out. Some may say you’re set in your ways, but it really just means that you’ve got your stuff figured out. You know exactly what you want and how to get it. But, if it is the case that you’re really just afraid of change, I reckon it’s time you toss away those ideas you’ve set in stone and toss in some new greens.
3. “Don’t look, I’m dressing!”
The difference between your style of dressing is really the difference between being more feminine or masculine. So it really boils down to this: are you a topper, mixer, or a dipper? A survey conducted for the Association of Dressings and Sauces (that’s right, it really exists) takes a deep look at an individual’s personality and demographics. Toppers, it seems, are largely male, with a lack of patience and time, while mixers are primarily female, who take great caution and care into every task they engage in. Dippers are, well, more upscale yet sociable and spontaneous, and constantly on-the-go…hence the need for dressing on the side.
4. “Et tu, Brute?”
The main reason one picks a salad over a side of fries or a pizza is because of its health benefits. You may neatly layer your salad with greens and veggies, but the moment you wash the bowl over with a tsunami of Caesar or Ranch, you’re saying goodbye healthy choices. It really makes one wonder if you’re the kind of person who does things for an entirely different purpose (cough cough, Brutus). Are you masking your true intentions behind all those layers of dressing? Then again, the unhealthiest of dressings also tend to be America’s all-time favorite dressings, so maybe you’re just one to follow the herd. Either way, it might be time for some change.
5. Kale Me Crazy
You’re exotic, you’re mysterious. Nobody really knows if you’re good, bad, exciting or just plain bland. Relax—I’m talking about kale, not you. Then again, you’re an ardent fan of kale and ingredients just as bizarre, so this might just relate to you too. You’re probably one of the few who buy a bottle of Kombucha to down the kale you ate right before. And hey—for dessert, how about some roasted golden beets topped graciously with a layer of Chia? Everybody around wonders how you do it, but you know better than to reveal your secrets.
6. When the Steaks Are Just Too High
“I ordered a salad for lunch today. Although, I added some chopped meat into the bowl. And there weren’t actually any vegetables. Or greens. There might’ve been fries though. Fine, it was a steak.” Salads just aren’t for you, are they? You’ve probably eaten a leaf or two before and, after having swallowed it down with a soda, seriously judged all those munching away on the romaine around you. In all likelihood, you’ve grown up in an incredibly sporty family, and are pretty strong-headed about your opinions. You fight your way to the top and don’t stop at any cost.