On the night before I began my journey at Endicott College, I couldn’t bear the fact that my life would forever change. In my brain I completely removed myself from the situation, refusing to accept that I would never truly live at home again, that I would naturally grow apart from my high school friends, and that I would be living on my own, surrounded by people I don’t know at all. I had heard the roommate horror stories, and growing up as an only child with my own room and space 24/7, I worried about how I would adapt to a forced triple dorm room.
But I knew I was ready. Not only because that’s what my mom said about me every time she came across a friend in the grocery store, but because I was prepared for this chapter of my life. I was ready to branch off on my own and start my own life, independent from all the comfort of my small town, and the consequential drama that came with it.
I had already paved the way for myself through adolescence, with no older siblings telling me how to act and what to wear and say. So naturally, I relished in being a freshman. I loved being the baby on my athletic team, and having all the upperclassmen help me out with navigating college life. I will admit, however, there were a few times when I wished away my college years, yearning to be a junior or senior who could easily get into parties. But that feeling always went away quickly, as I realized how much I want to savor these fun years before real adulthood.
I didn’t really miss my parents. Naturally, the first few weeks took some adjustment, and seeing them on Homecoming weekend was super exciting and special, but I was digging the whole independence thing. The “missing home” piece was the factor I was most nervous about. The longest I had been away from home was five nights for a summer camp, and now I was expected to move out of my house? Heck no. But I surprised myself.
They don’t lie when they say you truly do find yourself in college. I know, I’ve only got one year under my belt, but I am 100 times stronger than I was a year ago. Just living on my own has boosted my self confidence. When my mom and dad weren’t there as safety nets to schedule a doctor’s appointment for me or remind me to not eat pasta for every meal, I learned quickly how to fend for myself, and take care of my health. Also, I found that if I treat myself as an adult, then I will be treated as one in return,.
Throughout the year, I did keep a little countdown to track the next time I would see my parents or go home. And I did rush out to meet my dad with my suitcase every time he’d pick me up for school vacation on a Friday morning after class. Home is refreshing. Refreshing, but a little boring. I found myself being home at the same time as my school friends, and not reaching out to any of them (apart from my absolute closest ones who are like sisters). But it doesn’t make me sad or longing for high school times. At all. It makes me happy that I’ve found such a wonderful group of friends at college who I will genuinely miss this summer. And now, I’m counting down the days until sophomore year.