Every young woman has a lot of first’s – from a first kiss, to their “first time” – but nobody is prepared for the heartbreak that follows hearing their first real goodbye. Most experience a middle school heartbreak, but you don’t know the real thing until it happens in your adult life. Nobody is ready for those two syllables, whether you initiated the break up or not, it will still hit you like a ton of bricks when you hear the ‘love of your life’ saying goodbye. Everyone handles it differently; some people close off to the world, give up on love, and decide that it just isn’t worth it anymore. Some mourn in silence, showing resilience, and others – well it’s written all over their face.
Personally, my face and my filter don’t hide anything, you could clearly see I was completely and utterly devastated when someone that I thought would never leave, did. I spent some nights partying and hoping to forget, and others crying on my bathroom floor, cleaning, and listening to The Fray. I lived my life out of a Ben and Jerry’s carton for about three months consoling myself with cookie chunks and fudge brownies watching Bridget Jone’s Diary. The mourning period is a crucial time for healing – the more you suppress your feelings, the more they will build up and catch up to you in the long run.
One day, I finally woke up and realized this was not the end, it was only the beginning of the rest of my life. I met my best friend that year, who later became my roommate. I created so many amazing memories because of her, more than I could ever ask for. She has stood by me through of all of my ups and downs, and I could never be more grateful. I decided to get in shape and run, because endorphins increase your mood and boost your self-esteem. This helped me fall in love with myself all over again. I worked two jobs, hustled to six classes and still managed to have a social life. I also received an internship and fell in love with the company, and I now have an offer to come back for the summer! I founded the Her Campus chapter at Endicott, and I have grown into a strong, independent woman who is extremely proud of her accomplishments.
So yes, my heart was broken, and yes there are days where it still tears me to pieces, but it is ok to hur. Although most people are still afraid to. I know that I was, it isn’t easy to admit that you let someone in and they destroyed what you knew of your world. You feel rejected and betrayed. From that, we must recognize that we are all only human, we all embarrass ourselves, and we all overcome our battles. I am a firm believer that someday the love of your life will come along, and change everything you ever thought to be true. He or She will show you why you went through every failed relationship in the past. I am a strong believer in fate – when something is meant to be, it will be – but until then reach for your goals, don’t just settle for the expectation, go above and beyond because you attract what you put out into the world, so be your best self. There is quote I now live by, said by Taylor Swift, “She lost him, but found herself and somehow that was everything.”