This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Endicott chapter.
This has definitely been my hardest article so far to write, but it came to be the easiest. This has been a topic I have always thought about but didn’t know how to type. I always talk about it, and I always want to tell people about this stuff. But I never know how to without sounding like I need the attention. After much thought about writing about this, these are the things I do and why I do them:
- Get really attached really quick
- Something I have always done was get really attached when someone talks to me. I’ll explain why I do it: I’m scared they’re going to leave me and I feel like they’re a part of me. When someone shows the slightest interest, I get so ahead of myself and find myself getting attached. The second someone isn’t a stranger to me anymore, I get some form of attachment. Whether it’s physical, emotional, or psychological, I feel the need to make it known that I wouldn’t give up on a person.
- Text a lot
- Ok, this one is a blessing and a curse. I text a lot. But it’s not always because I have a lot to say. I mean, I always have a lot to say, but I send a lot of texts because I’m interested in your responses. I’m interested in what you have to say to me and I’m interested in you texting back. When I send a lot of messages, it’s not because I want to annoy you. It’s not because I want you to always be thinking about me and it’s not because I always want to talk to you. I want you to be the person I go to with good news. The person I go to when I need someone to talk to. And the person I can talk to whenever I want to get something out or just have someone there. That’s why I text a lot. Communication is always my number one priority when I talk to someone, and if there is one thing I lack, I refuse to let it be communication.
- Get freaked out when a guy shows interest in me
- Something I am not proud of is this. I get freaked out the second when a guy shows interest in me. Interest can be a couple of different things. If I talk to a guy a lot if a guy says he wants to meet me, or even if a guy wants to talk on the phone. Let me define getting freaked out: distancing myself from the source. When I distance myself, I feel like I won’t need to deal with the issue of having someone who seems to care about me. For the last couple of guys, I did talk to, I was completely honest with them and told them that it was something I do and I can’t control it no matter how hard I try. Some responses are different than others. “Is there something I can look for to make sure it doesn’t happen?” “How can I help you?” “Oh then let me save it for you and spare your time.” Getting freaked out gets me absolutely nowhere and it makes me really sad to know it’s something I can’t control.
- Thinks about my insecurities
- This is the hardest topic for me to talk about so I’ll come out and say it. Sometimes it’s really hard to tell guys I’m a virgin. Telling guys that I’m a virgin is one of the scariest things I can do. But the thing that’s even worse, and that comes with so much vulnerability is that I’m planning on waiting until marriage. It breaks my heart when I tell a guy I’m waiting, then he says “oh yeah I understand, that’s your decision” and proceeds to end things or ghost me. It’s the harsh reality and it’s something that I’ve thought about changing. But why am I changing my values and a personal choice, just so I could find the one? If I really want to find the one, he is still out there and will respect that I want to wait.
All of these things I do are for a reason. I know that when I tell a guy something, it takes a lot out of me to open up because I’m so used to them leaving and it gets to the point where it’s not worth it to open up. But all of these things are things I do because I want to protect myself from getting hurt.