1. How’s the dissertation going?
It is not GOING anywhere. It has been a page of bullet points sitting in my documents for the last three months and will take super human strength to transform this into anything comprehendible.
2. What are your plans after graduation?
“Oh, we all know exactly what career we want to do and how to get there”, SAID NO-ONE NEVER. My short term plans are to watch every episode of The Great British Bake Off. I’ll be proud of that even if no one else is.
3. How’s the money situation?
Well I just won the lottery so I can buy as many innocent smoothies-with-woolly-hats on as I want. Oh no wait, my money is invisible. As in, I DON’T HAVE ANY.
4. You look tired. Are you tired?
I AM TIRED.
5. And to those people that remind you about your £30k+ debt…
We’re fully aware. Now please go and fall in a hole somewhere