Earlier this month, popular comedian and television presenter Stephen Fry married his partner, fellow comedian Elliot Spencer. Their marriage made headlines, not just because of Fry’s substantial celebrity profile, but also because of the age gap between them – a total of 30 years; Fry being 57 and Spencer 27. Many have been openly critical of the pair because of the age difference, doubting how long their marriage will last and even questioning the legitimacy of Spencer’s feelings for Fry as an older man. This couple are not the first to have faced criticism from the press and the public; Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas were often in the press for their 25 year age gap; the coupling of Sam Taylor and Aaron Johnson was met with disbelief due to their 23 year age difference; and Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were always considered an ‘odd couple’ because of the 15 years between them. But what exactly is the stigma behind dating someone with a significant age gap? Her Campus takes a look at what exactly the ‘problem’ is. So what’s the deal with when he’s older? It‘s far more common for a younger woman to be seen hanging off the arm of an older guy. The examples of celebrity couples are endless: Jay Z and Beyonce (11 years difference), Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse (17 years), Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively (11 years), Brangelina (11 years), and Leonardo DiCaprio and just about every model under the sun.
It might come as a surprise to some of you that all of these couples have an age gap of over 10 years. That’s because when’s HE’S older, it’s not so much of a big deal. The guy is likely to gain nothing but respect and congratulations on managing to bag a hot young piece to have on his arm, while the girl is thought of as lucky to have a mature gentleman to escort her round town; someone to replace her Daddy. But if the age gap is deemed significant enough, she might be hit with accusations of ‘gold-digging’. So the older men are congratulated while the younger women are scorned … it must be the other way around if she’s older, right? Wrong! When an older woman gets into a relationship with a younger man it can go one of two ways. If she’s thought of as “hot” and “sexy” then she’s a Cougar – infamous ‘Cougars’ include Sandra Bullock, who had a 16 year age difference when she dated Ryan Gosling; and Cameron Diaz, who had a 9 year age gap with former partner Justin Timberlake. But, older women who aren’t lucky enough to be deemed ‘Cougars’ – which isn’t even that complimentary a term itself, comparing women to aggressive, ravenous predators – are just plain strange. When Sam Taylor Wood started a relationship aged 41, with 18-year-old Aaron Johnson, eyebrows were raised and accusations of ‘cradle robbing’ were thrown. She didn’t fit the ‘hot’ image of what a cougar should be, so her relationship was just deemed wrong. Despite the fact that the couple are now happily married with two young daughters, their relationship is still regarded with a hint of scepticism by several media outlets. While all this stigma might seem a world apart, in the far away land of Celebrity – the media’s damning opinions on relationships with age gaps has contaminated the public. Increasingly, age gaps are looked at as abnormal and wrong. A third year girl bringing back a fresher on a night out might be ridiculed by her friends for an age gap that could be just 2 years! But reverse the scenario and a third year guy scoring with a ‘fresh’ girl would likely only be slapped on the back for such an achievement. There must surely be a way to end this ridiculous stigma … celebrate your conquest no matter what their age! If you’re not embarrassed by the age difference then there’s no reason why anyone else should be, or that they should judge you for it! If you want to pursue a relationship with an older or younger guy, as long as you’re both consenting adults than other people’s opinions shouldn’t get in the way of a connection between you and someone special. So if you’ve seen someone you like the look of but their D.O.B is throwing you off, just be brave and go for it – make age gap stigma a thing of the past.