When you make the big move to the great University that is Exeter, one feature that cannot fail to be noticed is the prominent sports culture that dominates around campus. For the seeming minority of us that haven’t been brought up brandishing a tennis racket since we were potty trained, and mixed up lacrosse and Lacoste until extremely recently, this preoccupation with sport can evoke equal parts anticipation and anxiety. On the one hand, this could be the opportunity you have been waiting for to expand your friendship group beyond flat mates, try something that you have never done before and potentially discover a hidden talent. If, on the other hand, like me, you have the hand eye co-ordination of a slug, and your day to day life is a minefield of twisted ankles, stubbed toes and grazed knees, (all before alcohol even enters the equation), then to avoid total social embarrassment and numerous hours in A&E this aspect of university life may have to fall by the way side.
Being part of a sport is by no means the be all and end all of gaining a fulfilling University experience at Exeter. The University offers a huge array of societies that cater to everyone’s individual interests and talents meaning you too can engage in the thriving social scene in Exeter.
However, don’t breathe a sigh of relief too soon! Exeter is still after all a big name among Universities when it comes to sports, finishing 5th in the last academic year in the final BUCS ranking of 146 universities. This ultimately means that there are some sporting events that you cannot and should not shy away from, the big one being the Football Varsity.Â
 [pagebreak]
Yes, I know the word Varsity in itself stirs up images of American films filled with jocks and cheerleaders, but this sporting extravaganza provides an amazing opportunity for the university football team to demonstrate the talent that resides within their squad. It also unites hundreds of students in their bid to urge the university in a “Town vs Gown” derby to victory, and with a record number of students turning out, it is also a massive night out in the social calendar.
In no uncertain terms, the Varsity will be dominated by sports teams on their infamous Wednesday socials, booze addled and most certainly donning some rather interesting choices of attire. Nonetheless, with a few helpful tips you too can enjoy the night without part taking in a social. Tip number one: Whilst it is easy to enjoy the evening without having to down a cider black every two minutes, a few alcoholic beverages with your fellow social-less peers will not only guaranteed to get you into the spirit of the evening, but also make the continuous rounds of “Oh Exeter… is wonderful” slightly more bearable.
[pagebreak]
Think of the Varsity as a social observation in which you can enjoy some of the ironies of a typical Wednesday night. Yes, Exeter is full of “T*ts, F**ny and Lacrosse” but sadly I fear the rugby lads that are passionately singing this may be setting themselves up for disappointment. The female population of Exeter they so excitedly chant about are hardly about to get down and dirty with them on Timepiece dance floor whilst they are sporting the appetising aroma of vomit and that onion they had to ‘see off’.  Girls try to avoid the beer goggles skewing your judgment, no amount of bicep is worth braving that smell.
Whilst undertaking these vital observations, and as a result injecting a large amount of humour into your evening, try to do so at a safe distance from the stands in which the socials’ reside. That is, unless you enjoy being in the middle of an absurdly rowdy mosh pit and having your eardrums fit to burst from the netballers screeching abuse at a group of sporty males (who previously had bombarded them with rotten fruit).
Â
[pagebreak]
By now if ample amounts of alcohol have been consumed, and the excitement and fervour of the game has got you all suitably wired, the enticing tunes of Timepiece – the watering hole of pretty much anyone within the AU – will be calling you. With the dance floor fit to burst, and testosterone flying, remember to sharpen your elbows and avoid eye contact with any male for more than point five of a second. Ignore this latest bit of advice at your own peril, otherwise you will most certainly be launched at by a charming young male donning a fetching tutu, or something equally as obscure, who has substituted brandishing his hockey stick with attempting to brandish something considerably smaller in your direction. You have been warned.
Despite these tales of caution, the Varsity is a prime opportunity to get behind the University, whether part of a sport or not, and celebrate the talent and success that Exeter continuously generates. Most importantly it gives you the perfect excuse to have a bit of fun! So will you be screaming from the sidelines this Wednesday?Â
Photo credits: www.facebook.com, sport.exeter.ac.uk, exeter.tab.co.uk, www.tumblr.com
Â