For a girl, Hallowe’en is one of the best times of the year where no excuse is needed to wear next to nothing. Bum and breasts; bear it all, ladies. There is always a way to explain that strip of toilet paper that barely covers your decency (obviously youâre a Mummy) or the top that youâre passing of as a dress, because, of course, youâre a cheerleader whoâs had her clothes ripped off by a passing zombie. And there is no look that canât be Hallowe’en-ified by a pair of black cat ears and whiskers. What can possibly be scarier than a cat?
However, alas, life is not so simple for the males of our species. The majority of them, let’s be honest, struggle with fashion at the best of times, claiming that shopping is for girls, and half-heartedly throwing on a snapback in order to âcompleteâ a look. Hallowe’en could, perhaps, be the only time where they spend longer than twenty minutes getting ready. Yet they still get it wrong year after year.
The problem is that they take it far too seriously. Perhaps they should have spent a little less time in the fancy dress shop and a little more time paying attention when some girlfriend or another forced them to watch Mean Girls: everyone knows âHalloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about itâ. Above the age of fifteen, Hallowe’en is no longer about looking scary and collecting sweets. If you didnât already know that, then itâs better to learn now than find out the hard way like Cady had toâŠ
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Just as there is nothing attractive about a girl dressed in a dated wedding dress, fake blood and rubber fangs, there are a few looks that guys should learn to avoid:
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Zombie â white face paint is never a good luck, especially not when accompanied by a fake plastic bolt that weâre all meant to believe has really, yes really, gone through his neck.
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Pumpkin â too round, too orange. Just no.
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Devil â appealing in thought, less appealing in reality. Especially when you wake up with sheets stained red.
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Ghost â you will regret this when you wake up next to somebody who did not have the face you imagined. Sometimes that sheet with eyeholes is over their head for a reasonâŠ
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Wizard â dressing like Harry Potter, who we started watching when he was a mere child, is not just unappealing, but also slightly creepy (and not in the way itâs meant to be on Halloween).
The only way any of the above costumes become attractive on a guy is if heâs taken a leaf out of the girlsâ book and is doing Hallowe’en with as little clothes on as possible. He can be painted as red as a tomato, but if his six pack is solid enough to grate your candy on, then it will be worth all the sheet washing in the world. However, if his costume covers all the good stuff, then it doesnât matter how many times he suggests you go back to his for a game of âHide and Shriekâ, some nightmares you just canât wake up from.Â
Picture Credits: weheartit.com