We’ve all been there: the excitement for your holiday builds as you check-in your luggage; see the shiny plane that will transport you to your destination, locate your seat and settle in… handbag stowed, book in seat pocket, pillow in position. You of course then check the repertoire of on-board entertainment, carefully planning your film schedule complete with meal breaks that will last you until you land. Life is good. Until that loud passenger appears with what seems like the whole cast of Cheaper By The Dozen and all their possessions! Bundling on board, jostling down the aisle, cramming their bags into any remaining space in the over-head compartments… you glance to the empty seats around you and think one thing: ‘please no, this is a 10 hour flight’.
What makes you plane angry?
HCX have compiled a list of what we believe to be the 10 most annoying passengers you will most definitely encounter on your journeys, not ideal when confined to a metal tube flying over 30,000ft in the air!
1) Too much baggage: There’s always that family or fashionista with the large hat that manage to bring too much luggage, despite the obvious and easily checked weight restrictions and limits. This results in them having to empty and re-pack between their various cases, ultimately displaying the entirety of their lingerie but, most importantly, delaying everyone in the growing queue behind them.
2) Sweaty Betty: They arrive late, run through the airport (shoes off at security isn’t pleasant for anyone) and eventually make it on board, apologising profusely as they jam their carry-on in the overhead lockers. This somehow results in your nose in their damp armpit before they clamber over you, crotch-to-face. But at least they can finally relax and kick off their shoes once again. It’s been a stressful half an hour after all.
3) Kicking kids: I know I don’t have kids and I’m sure travelling with them isn’t easy, especially whilst dealing with glares from surrounding passengers. However, I whole-heartedly agree with Malaysia Airways and Air Asia X in their bid to create child-free ‘quiet zones’ or even Etihad’s ‘Flying Nannies’ because there is one thing worse than unruly children and that’s the parents who can’t control them.
4) Chatty Cathy: Personally I quite like it when the person next to me introduces themselves and has a little chat before take-off but no one should be subjected to hearing you drone on about your cat’s favourite toy, your niece’s singing competition or whatever else requires me to plaster a fake smile across my face for the duration of the flight. And no, I do not know the answer to 12-across. If my book is open (don’t tell me how good the twist is) or my headphones are in, do not persist in conversation! Unfortunately however, this tactic doesn’t work against the loud passenger six rows ahead who will gabble away regardless.
5) The personal space violator aka the armrest hogger / the thoughtless recliner: Whether it’s the people either side of you dominating the armrests; falling asleep on your shoulder; or the man in front of you with his seat so far reclined that your nose is pressed against your TV; everyone has encountered the personal space violator. According to a Lonely Planet survey, 37% of people questioned agreed that reclining your seat is only ok when you’re actually trying to sleep, and 15% say that it’s when the person in front of you does so that it’s fair. I don’t know why personal space suddenly becomes irrelevant on planes; there is little enough room in Economy as it is!
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6) The phone addict: The safety video told you so and you have now kindly been reminded by the cabin crew to please switch off all mobile devices… So why are you still texting? Your Facebook friends don’t need a status update about the slow bus journey to the airport, the amazing burger you just ate, the fit guy sat next to you or indeed the grumpy air hostess telling you again to please turn off your phone!
7) The foodie: Aeroplane food may not be to everyone’s taste but if you are going to bring your own, make sure it’s not of the pungent variety. 82% of those questioned in a Lonely Planet survey said that smelly food was a huge irritant on flights. Leaving the cabin reeking of onions makes you a sadist. Full stop.
8) The virgin flyer aka the scared hyper-ventilator, the fearful, the anxious: These come in two varieties: 1) Those who read the safety manual over and over and ask questions non-stop: ‘Do you know how high we are?’, ‘If we crash now, would the sea save us?’ And 2) Those who remain absolutely silent, gradually going from pale to whiter than white, knuckles clenched.
9) The loo frequenter: Constantly fidgety and restless, typically in a window seat, they conveniently need the toilet as you lower your tray-table for dinner, having to send the trolley the whole way back down the aisle. This happens again as you start a film; just as you manage to drift off to sleep; and of course as breakfast comes around.
10) The lads-on-tour: Impossible to miss, they come in groups of no less than 15 sporting their ‘Ibiza 2010’ t-shirts whilst chanting football songs. They try as hard as they can to flatter the air-hostess in the hopes of being served before take-off. It wouldn’t be so tragic if they weren’t 40+.
Seen these culprits? Or perhaps you can recognise some of these plane etiquette faux-pas in you? From now on just turn your phone off when asked, be wary of the effects of your reclining seat and know that when people put their headphones in it’s time to end the conversation. With this in mind, HCX wishes you a safe and pleasant flight. And who knows…maybe you’ll be lucky enough to meet a handsome chap on your travels!
Photo credits: www.vosizneias.com, www.youngadventures.com, www.travelsupermarket.com, www.weheartit.com, www.flyertalk.com, Pinterest, www.lonelyplanet.com