Over the years, the male specimens of our world have been accused of leading girls on. From the ones that show an interest until they get their wicked way, to those boys that only look to us for friendship despite knowing full well that you have had a crush on them since 2008– we are all guilty of giving men a little bit of a hard time when it comes to relationships. However, whilst on many occasions it is the boy that is in the wrong, us girlies are also guilty of a little philandering of our own-whether this is intentional or not. This week, HCX explores the ways in which we can be responsible for leading a boy on and how to combat against this.
1.The Boy that Falls in Love with any Girl that says ‘Hello’ to him
We all know a boy or girl who is exactly like this. They meet someone new who they happen to get along with and suddenly decide that they ‘really’ like said person. The problem with this situation is that if you don’t happen to know the boy or girl beforehand, you have absolutely no idea whether they suffer from an affliction of this kind. Furthermore, whilst all of us would love to think that someone was showing an interest, it can sometime feel a little presumptuous to decide that the boy or girl is in love with simply as a result of spending an evening together.
In this situation, HCX would recommend talking to some of his friends about the boy that seems to have an interest in you. Exeter is not the hugest of places, so you are bound to have some mutual friends- do some research. If you think that he sees your friendship as more than simply friendship, and you don’t feel the same- make it crystal clear that you are just friends. Play match- maker, there is no better way to let a guy know you don’t feel for them in that way, then by hooking them up with one of your friends or someone new. Keep your relationship on friendly terms, never over-stepping the boundary and confusing the boy. If it is clear from the start that all you wish for is friendship, you cannot be accused down the road of leading the boy on.
2.The Boy that We Love to Text
Everybody has that boy that you know is always going to be keen for a chat via text whenever you are bored. However, the problem with texting is that at times it is difficult to interpret the tone. What might appear as harmless banter to you, to the person receiving the text could be seen as flirting. Furthermore, we have probably all been guilty in continuing in said text conversations simply because we like the company. As a friend from HCX said, “it is sometimes really nice to know that a boy is interested in you and despite not feeling the same way, the selfish side of you enjoys the appreciation.” Similarly, another commented, “in situations of these kind, you can sometimes convince yourself you like the boy when in fact you don’t.”
As you can see from the comments above it is very easy to give a boy that you are texting 24/7 the wrong impression. Simply by being friendly, you can lead a boy onto think that you are interested in them, without even meaning to do so. HCX does not recommend cutting off all communication with said boy circa Phoebe and Josh from MIC- that is just rude. Take time to reflect on the situation, putting yourself in the boy’s shoes and seeing what you would think if a guy sent a similar text to you. By being conscientious and respectful of the other person, you can avoid being accused of leading someone on.
3.The Boy that Always asks you Out For Dinner
It is always tempting to take that boy who always offers to take you out for drinks or to dinner up on his offer. Free dinner? On a student budget- why not? However, this can have consequences which in the long run could lead you feeling a little shame-faced. By accepting the offer, you give a clear indication that you are interested, well and truly leading the poor boy on.
If you are not sure how you feel about the boy- how about organising something that is more casual amongst a group of friends. That way, you can get to know the boy better before committing yourself to anything. Similarly, if you think that you are never going to click- rather than making excuses, or saying you are busy- a little bit of tough love might be appropriate! Politely let the boy know that you are not interested and thank him for his kind offer.
There you have it then, three situations in which us girlies have been guilty of leading someone on, sometimes without even realising. Whilst it is lovely to know someone has taken an interest in you, remember to be respectful of that person’s feelings so as to not make them believe that your friendship is anything more than friendship. Whilst this is a girl’s guide- it does apply to boys too, so take note!
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