With the fate of the world hanging by what seems to be the most tragically microscopic thread, we can’t help but deeply ponder about all the time we have. This can only lead to one thing: self-loathing anxiety. Why you are still sitting in the same position in your bed with half of your butt cheek completely numb, refreshing your YouTube and Instagram feed, praying for a new spoiler of that crappy romance movie coming out in 10 months. Well, believe me queen, been there done that. Don’t worry finish that bagel, I am definitely not going to be the one to tell you to go on a walk or anything. Who am I kidding, this is not some ploy to get you out of bed or put your phone in a drawer or finally start writing in your untouched “Five Minute Journal”. This is simply an attempt to share how a miniature act can potentially start a snowball of self-love and care. You are probably thinking I don’t need this preachy crap, let me go back to my 25-minute nap that turned into a 4-hour slumber. But give it a shot.
It doesn’t start with some big gesture or drastic routine change, but rather simple words of encouragement or allowances to yourself. I am not going to preach that BS of “talk to yourself like you would to your best friend” because that does not change how you treat yourself overnight. What I will encourage is to allow yourself to just be for 5 damn minutes because you are a human, living in a pandemic. We all just need to inhale and exhale. When you click that next button on Netflix and find yourself having watched eight 45-minute episodes of The Witcher and you look up to see a dark sky, so you immediately want to set a raging fire within, breath. It’s not the end of the world. Tell yourself that you needed that, your mental capacity had reached its limit in that moment and a break was necessary for you to survive. I know that sounds like a load of cr*p, and maybe it is but that is virtually irrelevant at this point. Accept it and take the next day a fresh.
Set yourself small tasks and celebrate the completion of each of them, as opposed to writing a long list that breaks down everything and ends up being 5 miles long. Or you can simply write down tasks you already complete during the day, like washing your hair or doing your laundry, just to give yourself that extra pat on the back you so rightly deserve. A friend of mine reminded me of the reward concept, where you promise yourself a chocolate bar or skittles after you write 1/8 of that 3000-word essay. That is a fabulous idea that provides reasonable fuel for the completion of a task. Instead of scolding yourself for what you did not do in that time, praise yourself for what you DID accomplish.
Along with giving yourself time to be productive and accepting the precariousness of the process, start practicing the art of self-gifting. Despite those patriarchal beliefs that treating yourself renders you selfish and egotistical, directly participating in your joy will allow you to grow in ways that you didn’t know you could. Be it; buying yourself a sexy bouquet of flowers, hitting snooze on that alarm and extending your nap by 3 hours, or taking that cheeky mirror selfie in that new underwear you just purchased, give that to yourself. In the end, those are the things that will fuel your productivity and feed your soul.
And remember, there is no use telling yourself that you won’t write an essay the day before ever again, just accept your work ethic and see how you can work with it. So, get out of those sweatpants, throw on a fresh pair, and buy yourself those damn flowers, because that queen, is just the beginning.