In the name of science (and this article), my partner and I decided we’d try something new and get wet in more ways than one… And now, after some experimenting, it’s time for me to go through all the positives and negatives I learnt from this hot and steamy experience!
positives
The intimacy this creates is indescribable. There’s just something about the passion hot water pounding against your skin creates. The water guides you closer together and connects you together in a whole new way. At the same time, the vulnerability of having someone wash your hair and body creates an entirely different type of intimacy. It’s the best form of aftercare I’ve experienced to date.
Shower sex is also a non-intimidating way of introducing sex toys into your sex life. Whether it’s your first time doing it in the shower or you just want to spice things up, they are a brilliant way of ensuring everyone can feel as good as they can. Most sex toys are shower friendly, but the only thing you need to worry about is whether they are waterproof! Obviously, your best bet is non-vibrating sex toys like dildos (this would be perfect for a suction one); however, things like oral sex simulators and vibrators where the battery is protected from water will still do a great job.
Although it’s become a bit of a joke, soapy boobs (and whatever body parts you and your partner have) are definitely worth every bit of attention they get. Aside from being very visually appealing, having bubbly suds on your partner’s body is a brilliant way to initiate foreplay. With their consent, you could massage your partner’s boobs and play with their nipples, or if they have a penis, they could have a soapy hand job. The only thing I would recommend is to leave fragranced soap away from your vulva, as this will send your pH up the wall and no one wants that!
Now, if you’re anything like me, then things can get a little messy in the bedroom! One of the main things I’ve learnt from these experiences is that (and I know this is obvious) showers are very good at cleaning. Gone are the days of running for the tissues and towels on the other side of the room or finishing all sweaty and covered in various substances. More importantly, shower sex is brilliant for when you’re on your period! So if getting messy sheets is something which intimidates you, then this could be an excellent way to get pleasure even if you’re menstruating. The water just washes everything away, and there is nothing to clean up afterwards, so you’re left feeling fresher than a daisy. What more is there to want?!
Negatives
The most obvious flaw when it comes to shower sex is the distinct lack of lubrication water has to offer. Despite water being wet, it washes away any natural wetness your body creates. However, this just means that now more than ever, lube is your best friend! My partner and I tried all our different lubes – with minimum success. The most effective lubes were the water-resistant “shower lube” – designed specifically for that purpose, but even that needed topping up once or twice.
The biggest issue I had with shower sex is the accessibility of them, especially with the size of student halls showers. As a larger person myself, showers can be tricky fitting one person, let alone two! Unfortunately, there’s not a lot that can be changed with this. However, my partner and I have tried having one person in the shower, the other half in and half out, and swapping. Following on from this, it can sometimes be a bit tricky to actually reach the penetration stage, so if this is something you’re interested in, then maybe use the shower as foreplay and finish off in the bedroom… or any room you choose!
However, there are many other accessibility issues which could be a barrier; for example, mobility and sensory difficulties could impact how you logistically have sex (of any kind). Luckily there are ways around this, for example, investing in a shower chair/bench and trying positions which involve sitting down. This can help alleviate the pressures of having sex standing up and give you and your partner somewhere to rest if things get too steamy!
Falling over is another one of my biggest fears (and realities) when it comes to shower sex! If, like me, you’re very clumsy, then it’s time to bite the bullet and make sure you have an excellent anti-slip shower mat – trust me, they make such a difference (even to normal showers).
One of the issues which my partner and I didn’t have to consider, but I would like to mention, is about condoms! Whilst it is still better to wear a condom than not, the risks of pregnancy and STI transmission significantly increase when engaging in sexual activities in the shower. This is the case because the chemicals in soap can break down the latex in the condom, and they are more likely to slip off due to the hot water.
verdict
Whilst there are some very apparent flaws with shower sex, I’d say generally, the pros out way the cons! Penetrative shower sex is probably a bit too much hassle to be worth it, but shower (everything else) sex is definitely worth it! Overall, I wouldn’t say this was worth all the fuss for something casual, but it’s a perfect way of building a new type of sexual intimacy with a partner you care about a lot. Also, showering together saves water!