To quote my favourite poem by Maya Angelou, ‘The Human Family’:
“I’ve sailed upon the seven seas
and stopped in every land.
I’ve seen the wonders of the world,
not yet one common man.”
If we’re all so different, why do we strive for the same, arbitrary notion that we call happiness? So abstract, we hardly know how to define it. For some, it means a distant future with a well-paid job, a glamorous lifestyle and a family in a big house. Something they’re always striving for. For others, it’s in the small things, fleeting and almost unnoticeable; like hearing your favourite song on the radio.
Happiness comes in so many shapes and sizes, yet we all carry the same, one dimensional notion that to live is to be in ‘the pursuit of happiness’. It’s plastered everywhere: in magazine articles titled “How to be Happy”, and self-help books sold at Waterstones. But really, happiness is such a subjective term: it transforms and evolves depending on the person.
With the technological revolution that has come to define our age, especially through the corrosive role of social media, happiness has now been reduced to filtered pictures on social media. A highlight reel that doesn’t reveal the harsh realities of this so-called ‘happiness’. It doesn’t show the difficult times, where happiness feels like an alien concept. It doesn’t show the mundane. You would hardly expect an influencer to post pictures of their dentist appointment, would you?
This is the same for happiness and what many don’t want to admit is that for a lotus to bloom, there must be mud. With happiness comes sadness, as without the rain there would be a desert. It is learning to understand and accept this balance that is key: the pursuit of contentment.
So, what does it mean to pursue contentment?
I believe a lot of it has to do with gratitude, recognising what you already have instead of constantly chasing this fanciful goal. That when you are thinner, you will be happy. That when you have x amount of money, you will be happy. That once you have a job, money, a family – you will be happy. Rather than acknowledging what you already have.
On top of that, being content with yourself. It’s important to give yourself a break and understand that you can’t possibly be happy 24/7. The key is to be aware of how you’re speaking to yourself, and to show the same patience and sympathy that you would to your best friend.
We all have our own struggles, our own pain behind those glossy Instagram pictures, and it is our responsibility as human beings to show compassion and understanding towards one and another.
As Maya herself would say:
“We are more alike, my friends
than we are unalike”