Being there for one another in a relationship is central to its success, and November (being Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month) is a good time to remind ourselves of this. As we begin to talk more and more about mental health, we learn about the importance of having these conversations, and learn better ways to support each other. However, statistically we see men struggle to reach out for the support they need, due to ongoing stigma and the concept men have to hide their emotions as they make them weaker, and ‘man up’.To demonstrate you care for your partner, supporting them throughout Men’s Mental Health Month is essential, and here are some suggestions of ways that you can show up and give support.
Encourage
Open conversations about mental health are so important, yet can be so hard to have. Normalising mental health talk, and having conversations about your feelings more regularly with your partner can help it feel less intimidating. You can do this by casually checking in with them; sending them a message asking ‘How is your day going?’ or ‘How are you feeling today?’ can encourage these larger conversations, without it feeling overwhelming.
Listen
It is natural to want to fix and solve your partner’s problems, but sometimes, just being there to hear and validate their feelings is more than enough. Be an empathetic ear when your partner is getting stuff off of his chest, and actively listen to what is on his mind. Respond without judgement, and be understanding, in order to create a safe space for your partner to open up. Of course, he may want advice, and if this is the case, it is important to consider …
Language
When discussing sensitive topics, such as mental health, being mindful of your language and phrasing is important. Avoid being dismissive and short, by saying ‘I’m sure it will be fine’, and instead validate their feelings, and try saying ‘That sounds really tough, I can understand why you are feeling this way’. When it comes to giving advice, make sure it is welcome, as, like mentioned, sometimes it is best just to listen. Offer suggestions, rather than a decision, as it is ultimately your partner’s decision how they navigate their feelings.
Act
A simple act of kindness can go a long way, so sometimes, checking in with a small gesture can also be a positive way to remind your partner that you care. If you know he has a favourite TV show, why not suggest to watch it one evening (maybe with his favourite snack)? If he identifies with a specific love language, explore what you can do to maximise his well being through this. For instance, if his love language is primarily words of affirmation, write him a note, or give small verbal reminders of how much you love him. Maybe his preferred love language is quality time, in which case, maybe plan a fun date night together.
Share
There are a wealth of mental health resources that you can find online (websites, blogs, podcasts etc) so why not share them with your partner. Sharing these could foster healthy conversations, and help to remove stigma. Below are some suggestions of online materials that may be beneficial for your partner:
- https://triggerhub.com/10-mens-mental-health-podcast-recommendations
- https://uk.movember.com/mens-health/mental-health
- https://headsupguys.org/helpful-links/
- https://www.dralexgeorge.co.uk/
- https://www.exeter.ac.uk/students/wellbeing/devon/resources/mensmentalhealth/
- https://www.mensmindsmatter.org/
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLWEr_kdXl4
- https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/get-help
- https://www.matesinmind.org/training-and-resources/men-s-health-awareness-month-2024
Of course, these conversations should not just be in November, they should be all the time, but being there for your partner throughout Men’s Mental Health Month (and beyond) will strengthen your relationship, and will be healthy for both of you. Using these methods can help him to feel supported, empowered and understood. Creating a healthy environment where the two of you can open up can deepen the trust between you, ultimately bettering your relationship, and foster better mental well being in turn.