Chris Evans, George Clooney, and Jeff Goldblum – what do these A-list celebrities have in common? Apart from all being considered somewhat heartthrobs in the acting scene, they have a more sinister similarity too. All three have 15-year (or more) age gaps with their female partners, and in every relationship, our favourite actors have ten times as much economic net worth as their lovers too.
There is, however, one name that springs to mind when we discuss relationship age gaps in Hollywood, and that is Leonardo DiCaprio. The Academy Award-winning actor is increasingly criticised for his romantic relationships exclusively with women between the ages of 18-25, despite himself now nearing the age of 50. The systematic way in which these relationships end once his partners reach the age of 25, made famous through a graph originating from Reddit, dispels any narratives of ‘true love’ found in despite of physical circumstances, and points towards a more predatory style of behaviour. A common assumption would be that he was attracted to such young women because of their glamourous looks, but surely there cannot be such a difference in physical appearance between someone in their early twenties, and someone beyond the age of 25. So, this begs the question – what are the real reasons that Leonardo DiCaprio, and other men in power, seemingly sought out these considerably younger women for relationships? What could they possibly seek to gain from a romantic relationship with someone young enough to be their daughter?
A common explanation involves the power dynamics in such relationships. A younger person is much more likely to be reliant on their older partner economically, as the individual in their 40s is often more financially stable and well-off than the other in their early 20s. Whilst this is not always so straightforward, age brings status, especially in celebrity culture when older age enables more time to build a public image and correspondingly attracts higher paying jobs. In many cases then, the couple may have a huge wealth disparity, which the older partner could wield much more maliciously with a younger partner, than with someone of their own age who could be more similar in stature.
Power dynamics also extend to emotional dependencies, as despite maturity being varied among individuals, the general trend is that those in early adulthood will lack lived experiences in comparison to their elder partner, and so lean disproportionately on the other. When this is combined with the social and economic power discrepancies, it can leave the younger partner in a vulnerable position. Taking into account the consequences of the patriarchy, such as the gender pay gap, and higher authority awarded to men, it is not difficult to understand the concern directed towards younger women in such relationships.
Inevitably, age gap relationships bring to mind a difference in romantic expectations too; what somebody in their early twenties, and the other in their forties, seek to gain out of romance often contrast due to their vastly different phases of life. Your twenties are usually a time of self-discovery, early career progression and uncertainty, and decades later, this is often replaced by stability gathered through life lessons and time. There are social reasons why we do not obey the peak of fertility, such that your 20s are not the most common decade to raise a family; they are instead considered to be somewhat an extension of your adolescence.
Let’s take a well-publicised age-gap relationship – John Mayer and Taylor Swift. Swift was new in the industry, being 19 years old when she dated Mayer, who was 32 at the time. Whilst not the largest of gaps, the ages involve completely different mindsets. At 32, most are beginning to reach professional promotion and success, beginning a phase of life in which to settle down and consider starting a family. Taylor Swift at 19 could not even legally drink. Here, we’re talking about having ‘just left the nest’, to someone who could have 5-10 years of financial savings. The ordeal clearly impacted Taylor Swift as well, as 14 years later, she is writing songs such as ‘Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve’ detailing what she considers the loss of her girlhood, explicitly stating that the memories ‘feel like weapons’.
There is a line of argument that states relationships are solely private, and ‘what’s going on behind closed doors’ should not be subject to either criticism or commentary. Some would even argue that a critical attitude towards age-gap couples is out of line with our current sexual liberalisation and progressive attitudes. I am not arguing that women do not have the agency to make their own decisions about their love lives, as ultimately maturity is about life experience, which can differ tremendously between similarly aged people too. However, to say that what occurs in private is not subject to comment, especially for women, seems a dangerous line of argument to make; after all, isn’t the personal political?
Younger people are more likely to be against older-male, age-discrepant relationships, and for good reason; the younger generation has arguably been raised and socialised in a time of greater awareness of issues such as emotional abuse and manipulation. The concern about 48-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio’s reportedly teenage model girlfriend is widespread for a reason. Whilst the commentary requires nuance, to argue that there is no risk of exploitation of these young women in relationships with such powerful men would be delusional.