So, you’ve swiped right and found a possible date. They’re totally your type, you’ve arranged the time, a location, what to wear…but are you also thinking about how to stay safe meeting this person?
A 2022 BBC investigation revealed that ‘33 percent of dating app users…have experienced either harassment or abuse by someone they met via a dating app’ with police data stating that ‘more than 6,000 people have reported offences linked to dating apps between 2017 and 2021’ (BBC). These are extremely alarming figures for the millions of people who use dating apps such as Tinder and Hinge in the UK. While many of us have our fair-share of first-date horror stories, often we forget the more sinister dangers of meeting a person for the first time. The fact is, you never truly know an individual through their online persona, as they can present themselves in anyway they wish. It is therefore, becoming increasingly easy to cat-fish and be cat-fished.
However, being a generation of avid online-dating-website-users, we shouldn’t have to avoid the online dating world and miss out on finding “the one” in the fear of being in danger. Instead, there are steps and advice everybody can learn on how to navigate meeting dates as safely as possible, especially while you are in Exeter.
Firstly, it is important to always tell at least one person, be it a friend, a sibling or a parent, who you are meeting and where you plan to meet them. I know this takes away some of the ‘sexy mysteriousness’ but it could potentially save your life. Thankfully, if you own an iPhone, you can also turn your location on for the person you have talked about your date with, this way they can track your whereabouts just to be on the safe side. To do this simply click on their contact information and select the ‘share location’ option, where you can decide how long you want to share this for.
Another useful piece of information to remember is the ‘Ask for Angela’ scheme. Many bars in Exeter and across the UK understand and follow the ‘Ask for Angela’ procedure, whereby if your date is not going to plan and you feel it becoming dangerous, you can ask a member of staff for Angela, and they will help to remove you quickly and safely from the situation. This protocol is very useful to remember even if you are not on a date as it can save you from creepy people you might encounter in bars and clubs.
There is also the amazing Exeter Safe Space that opened in 2022, located at St Stephen’s Church (opposite Urban Outfitters). They provide medical help, water, clothes, phone chargers and a ‘safe, warm and non-judgmental place to go for help’ (Exeter Safe Space). They are open Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday nights 11pm – 3am and are specifically there to help you. If your date has in any way become threatening or dangerous, this could be a life saving safe space to remain until you get the help you need.
The Terrace and Unit 1 in Exeter both follow ‘We Care REKOM’ policy for their guests, whereby they must ensure you are safe while at their venue. They encourage guests to speak to security and bar staff if they feel unsafe or need help and must allow you access to the phone, free water, or a taxi escort. Perhaps suggest to have your date at The Terrace, they have amazing food and cocktails anyway!
Sometimes though, online-meet ups are for casual sex rather than going out on a date. This can be a little trickier to navigate, but still can be done as safely as possible. I would always suggest meeting them first in an open and busy location before going back to yours or theirs; firstly to make sure they aren’t cat-fishing you but also to gage the situation. If you are feeling comfortable, proceed however feels best for you! If you are having sex, I would always suggest using condoms as you do not know how many partners they may currently have besides you!
Most importantly, have fun! Meeting new people should be extremely exciting and enjoyable. The dating world is a roller-coaster of ups and downs that come as lessons to us all. So do not be put off! Instead, keep in mind the ways to meet your date safely and follow some of my tips to ensure you are as comfortable as possible navigating the online dating scene.