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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Exeter chapter.

Blissful, passionate, intense. That is the honeymoon phase. It is a carefree and euphoric period between a couple where it feels as though nothing could possibly go wrong. Whether it is the way your partner talks, or their weird, distinctive quirks (that you will most likely grow to complain of), everything about them seems endearing. Psychotherapists and relationship experts emphasise the dreamy nature of the honeymoon phase, and picture it as a ‘magic bubble’. However, the clue is in the name; it is a phase, and all phases come to an end. It has its ups and downs, but the best way to navigate the honeymoon phase, and to manage the shift away to a more stable relationship, is to understand it.

The etymology of honeymoon stems from the old English word ‘honymoone’, which describes the fleeting, indefinite period of pleasure experienced by a newly wed couple. Nowadays, it is no longer limited to marriage, but can be applied to any new relationship. The addition of the word ‘phase’ reiterates its fleeting nature, but how long does the honeymoon phase actually last? For most couples it lasts between six months and two years, although this can vary. Following the honeymoon phase, the intensity subsides, and there is a transition between passionate love to companionate love.

There are a clear number of ways to tell if you are in the honeymoon phase. It is an exhilarating phenomenon marked by overwhelming attraction – physically, sexually and emotionally. There is a heightened sense of excitement and adventure when you explore a new relationship as there is so much to learn and do together, and conflict is minimal. The rose tinted glasses tend to be on in full force in the first few months, and there is a tendency to idealise your partner and be ignorant to potential red flags. 

Biologically this stage can be explained too. Scientific research often links the addictive energy and excitement to a phenomenon called limerence, characterised by the intense longing felt over a prolonged period. Additionally, the feel good chemicals hit in full force during the first stages of a relationship, such as dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin. It is these neurotransmitters responsible for the feeling of pleasure, and the euphoric sensation associated with new love. Indeed it seems that there is, to some degree, a science behind love.

Some couples don’t experience the honeymoon phase, and it certainly isn’t necessary for everyone. Whilst it may be fun being head over heels, it is important not to be lulled into a false sense of security. As already mentioned, phases come to an end. There is more to a relationship than the initial passion. As the honeymoon phase fades, you may notice flaws in your partner you didn’t see before, sex and intimacy may become less frequent, all whilst arguments may increase.That ‘magic bubble’ experts reference may pop, and the reality of real life creeps in.  Remember, this is the natural next step of a relationship in order for it to become long term. 

In order to maintain a healthy and equally happy relationship post the honeymoon phase, honesty and transparency is crucial. You will need to have hard but important conversations about the future, and maintaining healthy communication is essential. Conflict is one of the leading causes of break ups when mishandled, so understanding how to mitigate arguments, and engage with them in a healthy and mutually respectful way is important. Acknowledge that everyone deals with issues differently, and there isn’t a right way to navigate them. A final way to protect a relationship post honeymoon phase is to remember to prioritise each other, and still provide your time, energy and show affection. 

Although we should soak up the joy and bliss of a honeymoon phase I think it is important not to be blinded by infatuation and consider your partner is a human, and therefore, like anyone else, will have their faults. Indulge in the butterflies, but don’t overlook the frustrations your partner causes. Remind yourself that you are still getting to know and learn about each other. The honeymoon being over does not mean a relationship has to be over. A relationship doesn’t have to become boring, but instead you learn to appreciate having a deeper and more fulfilling love, and that in itself is exciting.

Hello, my name is Ella and I am a BA English and Communications student at the University of Exeter with a passion for writing, breaking social taboo and learning from others. As someone with experience in campaign work and content creation, I have learnt the power of utilising different digital and in person skills to spark meaningful conversations. I am the Sex and Relationships editor for Exeter, and am also interested in writing about current affairs, politics and mental health. In my free time, you can find me with a book in hand at a coffee shop, at the cinema with my friends, or on a walk with my dog.