In every popular women’s magazine, there are loads of columns breaking down the dynamics of sex and dishing out sex advice like it’s the daily special at some high end restaurant. However, there are never any columns that discuss the virgin perspective on sex. Yes, us virgins do have some stories that may just put some of your scandalous sex deeds to shame. I think it’s time for a change and Her Campus Exeter is willing to shake things up and give our readers something new because believe it or not, us virgins are still out there! So every week, I will be relating a story that girls who have not yet (or even those that have) had sex yet can relate to. I hope that this column can serve as both a comical relief, as well as give advice on how to tell a guy that you are a virgin, and some other not so discussed topics.
Throughout high school most of my friends were not virgins. Every lunch period I would hear all about their scandalous sexcapades. One of my best friends detailed every experience she had down to the very core. In class, we would pass notes and I would get novels explaining who did what and what went where. It was graphic to say the least. I always felt that my little seemingly naughty deeds couldn’t compare to her wild stories of crazy weekends with her on again off again boyfriend. There was always something that made their relationship spark; it was like watching a soap opera unfold!
Don’t misunderstand me, I’ve had the opportunity to have sex multiple times. Sometimes, almost going all the way. Over the years boyfriends (and other horny guys) have propositioned me to finally give in. Some even uttering those three little words that men think all women want to hear. One guy even going as far as saying that because I wasn’t having sex, I wasn’t “living the life that I am supposed to live” whatever that means (LOL). But in an age of promiscuity, it was nice to know that I was in control of this. There’s nothing more fulfilling for me than knowing that when the time comes for me to finally reach that majestic place that everyone keeps raging about, I’ll be ready for whatever lies ahead. There are too many people out there that take sex for granted. With casual sex today, there is no feeling of being special to someone. It’s more of a (as a friend of mine refers to it) “hit it and quit it” mentality to sex.
After much of my experience listening to both my girl and guy friends dish out their sex stories, I’ve learned a few things about casual sex: there are hardly ever any calls the next day as promised; there’s more times than not, the crushing blow of regret; and the empty feeling that comes the morning after those scandalous deeds have been done. Outside of the momentary feelings of lust and desire, what lies ahead? Too often those sex columns listed in Cosmo or Glamour, exaggerate sex and fail to write about the day after. Sex can be meaningful and all of those things in Cosmo, but holding out until you are ready can also prove to be more worthwhile.
So if you are waiting for that special someone, or even for the right time, and you are reading this, know that in a sea of one night stands and casual sex, you aren’t alone in your decision. It may be the thing that everyone is doing, but it’s not what everyone is doing that will make something special for you. It won’t be the pushiness of an overly horny guy, or the pressure of listening to your friends dish their sexcapades with none of your own, it’ll be knowing that when you do have sex, it will be your choice.
What do you think of this article? Comments are more than welcome, as I would like to hear what people have to say on the topic of casual sex, virginity, etc.
x The Not So Mary, Virgin x