It’s an all-too-familiar situation – your date is sat in the front room, your mates are sat as far away as possible, and you can feel the hate resonating from every corner. You want to keep the peace, but every time you try, it’s about as successful an endeavour as finding a printer on campus when there’s an essay deadline. In order to get to the bottom of things, Her Campus have turned detective and split the solution into the Who, What, When, Where, Why and How of your Date/Mate/Hate relationship.
Who
Who objects to who? Is it just one friend who objects to your new-found love, or are you being greeted with a wall of hatred – if it’s the latter, it’s probably worth considering why you’re receiving universal disapproval.
Ask your friends about the things they don’t like about your date as there will most likely be a good reason. For example, if they’ve heard rumours that he’s a player, they won’t be too happy that you’re with him. (And nor should you be!) However, if it’s something minor, such as complaints that he never cleans up after himself when he stays over, simply talking to everyone involved about how to fix things will clear up future problems.
What
What goes wrong? Do your friends always end up arguing over what channel to watch with your boyfriend when he comes round, or is he the type of guy to leave the toilet seat up in a house full of girls? Finding out the details will give you something to work with.
Go through each problem one at a time and arrange a solution everyone’s happy with – if your date’s into football but everyone else wants to watch the rom-com that’s on the other channel, either go to his place for the match or make a compromise: he gets a soppy film but you’ll make him dinner later.
When
When does it go wrong – if your date’s making the most of your copy of Guitar Hero when your house mates are trying to work, sparks are going to fly. Try and organise your dates at times that are convenient for your mates, too – or you could find yourself living in an unhappy household.
With this in mind, it’s worth investigating people’s schedules – for example, if your house mate has an important lecture on Friday morning, it’s not a good idea to have your date over late into Thursday night.
Where
Where does it happen – if your mates are constantly arguing with your date because he’s always at your place, try switching it up so you spend more time at his. Or if your mates never actually see your date because he’s super elusive, try inviting him over for dinner and let your friends get to know him.
Why
Why don’t they like him? This ties in with the “Who” – are there specific reasons why your friends don’t like your guy, or is it something simple, such as not knowing much about him?
If you think you’re going to be involved with this guy long-term, you’re going to want him to be on good terms with your friends.
Try and get your mates and your date to spend some time together – with any luck, once they get to know him better, they’ll realise he’s not so bad after all.
How
How can you fix it? Once you’ve gathered all your information in true Sherlock Holmes style, it’s time to work out an action plan. Whether it be something simple, such as getting your date to get off Guitar Hero in the evenings, or you’ve found out that it’s worth considering if your date is the right guy for you, taking the time to investigate the situation will help you work out a solution.
So, what are you waiting for? Now you have your mate/date turbulence tool kit, it’s time to get investigating..
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