You still think they’re handsome, smart and the best thing since sliced bread? Good for you, but some signs of a strong relationship are a little less easy to spot.
You appreciate what you do for each other.
Even something as small as making you a decent brew when you walk in the door or complimenting you out of the blue, it’s always a good thing to have someone doing the small things just to make your day-to-day life that bit better, (plus, who turns down a decent cup of tea?). And likewise, when you do something for them, a peck on the cheek or a simple “thank you” can really go a long way when it comes to sustaining a relationship. If you find yourself pulling all the weight or if your significant other barely seems to acknowledge your existence, then maybe it’s time to speak up and let them know that they’re letting things slip. It’s hard work to keep a relationship going, but little things really do add up over time, so it’s best to keep note of them.
You don’t mind spending time apart.
This goes hand in hand with TRUSTING your partner. You need to be able to live your own lives and have fun with other people, it’s not a crime. Your S.O should be someone you want to be with, not someone you need. Trust me, been there, done that. It’s called co-dependency and it is nooot healthy in any world. I’m not saying you don’t miss each other over extended periods of time, of course that’s normal, but if they want to go to the pub with their mates one night, that is also OKAY. It swings both ways too, if they start getting all controlling when you wanna hang out with your girls then that’s a sure sign that they’re insecure about something. Get to the bottom of it or get out of that toxic relationship hun.
You don’t sleep on an argument.
This can actually apply to anyone important in your life. My Pappy always raised me to sort out any quarrels before you went to bed. If you sleep on it, it doesn’t just magically solve itself, if anything it gets worse and more difficult to resolve. The amount of times I’ve been annoyed with my boyfriend for something he’s said or done. I’ve laid there, tossing and turning getting myself even more worked up until I just have to speak to him. And then, believe it or not, we usually make up within about 10 minutes. If you’re feeling uneasy it’s because you want to resolve it, and that’s the first step there. If you want to make up, then 9 times out of 10, you will. And isn’t it so much nicer to go to sleep as a little spoon, (or big spoon, whatever floats your boat, just speaking from personal experience) than a ball of rage? So I would take my advice, obviously ;), and just say your piece, unless you want it to bottle up and rot slowly but surely.
You still enjoy the sex.
After a couple of years things can get into a bit of a rut in the bedroom. The important thing is to make time for it. Go on a date occasionally, spark up some of that initial romance. Try something a little kinkier ;). It shouldn’t feel like a chore though, you should want to do it, but it’s fair enough that sometimes busy uni life can get in the way of your sex life. Just be honest about how you’re feeling, because there’s a difference between being knackered one night and NEVER being in the mood. If it’s the latter, you’ve got a problem.
They still make you laugh.
Ah, the big one. If you read nothing else, READ THIS. You know what they say, “laughter is the best medicine”; “A day without laughter is a day wasted”; “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people”. Whoever they are, I trust them, because I don’t think there’s many things better than having a good ol’ belly laugh about something. If your partner can still make you laugh, years into your relationship, then it’s a sure sign that you’re both doing something right. Imagine being with someone boring… what even is the point? So if you find yourself cringing, and not in a good way, at a joke that your partner is telling for the hundredth time then do yourself and them a favour and tell them to sling their hook.
So essentially, by now you should know whether this is your soulmate or whether your relationship is nearing its end..… Just kidding, every relationship is different. The key is communication! If you’re both happy with how things are, then don’t go trying to fix something that ain’t broken. I stand by the cup of tea thing though, I love it when someone makes me a cup of tea. If my boyfriend stopped making me tea, that’d probably be it for us ;)
Yours sincerely, H.C