While F&M doesn’t actually have a real fitness requirement, a few classmates and I were talking the other day about what would happen if we did have one and what it would entail. Some of us argued for real world skills, others argued for F&M survival skills. These are all things that should be completed before graduating from this great institution of higher learning. The end result is as follows:
1. Sit in a Keiper desk for three hours. These are desks probably better suited to a kindergarten. I have such great pity on those poor souls, especially football players, who have to try to fit into these desks. Oh and want to put your books and your drink on the table? Hahahah good one Keiper.
2. Get up and down from third floor Stager without the elevator. That’s right, I said it, without the elevator. Can you do it without getting winded and/or stopping? This fitness test will see if you can do it. You really want to wait for the elevator and be late for class? Yeah, that elevator may make it easier, but it’s never on time.
3. Fob into a building with both hands busy carrying some sort of food. You want to reach for your fob that’s attached to your keys that are in your pocket/purse/carry all, but your hands are filled with food and no one is around to fob you in. You need to be able to manage this somehow.
4. Make it home with your arms completely covered in grocery bags successfully from the grocery store. Without a car, all in one trip. This is one of our real world application ones. You have no car, no bus, no nothing, and want to make it home with tons of groceries without having to go there and back. This one’s a toughie folks!
5. Learn to outrun the freaky squirrels on our campus. These squirrels are FEARLESS. I DON’T GET IT! NOTHING SCARES THEM! Seriously, when they say that an #F&MProblem is getting assaulted by a squirrel, they’re only kinda joking.
6. Successfully make the trip from the top floor of your dorm to the basement to do laundry. Without stopping. Do you even realize how heavy laundry gets? And how hard it is to make it from the third floor to the basement without dying? Yeah, pretty much impossible.
7. Figure out a way to survive allergy season. Seriously, Lancaster is one of the worst places for allergies. I hope you enjoy your spring filled with coughing, watery eyes, runny noses, sore throats, and the like. On that note:
8. Survive a school year without getting some sort of illness. Including a cold. Seriously folks, viruses spread on campus so quickly that it’s amazing we haven’t needed to be quarentined yet. Is it just me, or has EVERYONE had or is getting some sort of cold on campus, and it’s only September???
Tell us in the comments, could you pass this fitness tests?