While some of us might wish to erase any memories of our high school selves, I would do anything to greet my high school self with a ‘thank you’ hug for leading me to whom I have become in college. Of course, there are moments I wish I could take back, but I know those maybe not-so-good moments have made me a stronger person. Overall, I’ve learned to love myself in college like I have never done before.
In high school, I would’ve dropped anything to help anyone—most of the time for people who didn’t deserve it. I’d listen to people who I was barely friends with pour all of their problems on me, not even thinking twice to ask me how I was doing. No matter what kind of day I was having, I would still somehow find it in me to patiently listen to someone who felt his or her problems made mine irrelevant. While some of my friends would ask me, “Why are you listening to her? She’s not even nice to you”, I could never find it in myself to say, “Hey, this person is mean to me, I’m going to flat out ignore them when they pour out their heart to me”. As it may be viewed as not having a backbone, I take pride in being the one who will always be willing to give you advice and someone people can come to when they’re having a bad day. I think that’s something to be proud of—not something to shame.
In high school, I definitely used to be one of those people who thought loving may simply be an Instagram with the caption, #LoveYourself. However, in college I’ve learned that loving yourself takes much more than posting a mirror selfie on Instagram.
Loving yourself is being kind to people because it’s what you feel in your heart. The way you treat people and make them feel says more about who you are than anything else. It’s always better to be the one that was kind than the one who wasn’t. Although some may believe the saying: shooting other people down makes them seem more confident, I promise you that it is the opposite of how they are feeling. Somebody who is easily angered is off-balance and the last thing I will ever feel is intimidated or scared of someone who carries themselves with anger.
Most importantly, I started living my life for myself and not for the acceptance of other people. If I don’t want to go out every night of the week, I’m not going to. If I’d rather spend my night getting an A on my final, that’s what I’m going to do because that’s what I find most important. If I want to a date my boyfriend who I love that goes to a different college, that’s what I’m going to do because it’s what makes me happy. You may think what I do is completely bizarre, but either way I’m going to continue to do what makes me happy.