“Never judge a book bottle by its cover” ….unless it’s totally accurate, which this is.
Corona (Light or Extra)Chill is his name and surfing is his game. He shines his brightest at the beach and is always down for a fiesta. He’s never seen without his puka shell necklace and is a firm believer that it’s always 5 o’clock somewhere.
Natural LightNicknamed “Natty Light”, he’s a simple dude who loves all things beer and bro time. College is his Mecca, where he’ll chill for a minimum of 6 years. His specialties include beer pong, chugging, and eating a whole pizza in under two minutes.
Bud LightBud here is an all-American, class act guy. He’s enjoyed by all and disliked by none. You can find him at any football game, concert or bar and he’s always sporting the good ol’ red, white and blue. He’s everyone’s go-to, and for good reason. Just look at that smooth label. What’s not to love?
Coors LightComplete with a mustache, comb-over, and glasses, Coors Light is none other than your father. Sure, he might be past his prime but Silver Bullet’s got a sense of humor that takes twenty years off his age. He still likes to hang with the kids and toss back a few cold ones, which you absolutely love. Nothing better than having a cool dad, amiright?
Dos EquisYou can tell just by looking at his bottle, this guy has been places. Dos Equis is by far your most interesting friend and he’s constantly surrounded by an aura of fascination. He somehow always has a new story to tell and you’re somehow always interested. He’s never seen without his watch gifted from George Clooney and his iPhone fully equipped with pictures to backup his stories. I mean come on, George Clooney? God, this guy is cool.
GuinnessCommonly found in pubs and bars, Guinness has got that red-hot Irish blood pumping through him with an affinity for drinking. His eleven brothers and sisters can attest to that. He’s a gentle giant who can chat your ear off, but the second you mention your strong dislike of potatoes, he puts his fists up looking for a fight. All in all, you love this big lassie no matter what trouble he gets you into.
HeinekenHeiny is the epitome of a globetrotter. He can never stay put in one country for longer than two years, which makes for some pretty good stories (like the one about his red star tattoo) and a really confusing accent. Don’t bother asking what nationality he is because he’s lived just about every place humanly possible. He gives a worldly component to the friend group and makes you feel more cultured, even if the only place you’ve traveled to is Vermont.
PBRHe’s an old friend that’s been around for years and knows everybody, but what he doesn’t know is how to pay the bill. He’s a good guy and means well, but is for sure the most financially irresponsible of your friends and looks to you to cover his tab. You can always find him on the party scene but only afterhours, because that’s when drinks are half priced.
Molson This crazy Canadian is often found wearing shorts in the winter, chatting about all things hockey, and is the nicest person you’ve ever met. You could punch him in the face and he would apologize to you. Oh, and he puts maple syrup on everything.