If you want a stagmate, then, you must secure the stag date.
Dating seems to be the most complicated concept for college men, scratch that, I mean boys. The ball always seems to be in their court, and for some reason, they never seem to make a move. The truth is, from my experience, boys know who they want to date and when they want to date.
You’re probably reading this right now because you have a huge crush on the guy or girl, whatever your prerogative, on your floor, in your class, or maybe you see in passing.
I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily an expert in the dating game, however, I can give advice from experience, both good and bad.
You’re wondering how to ask your stag crush on a date– I feel as though there are two options:
- If you both are on a good talking basis, and you think the feelings are mutual, do it. Confidence is your most attractive attribute.
- If the person is oblivious to your feelings, or unreciprocated, my main piece of advice is do not ask them out. Instead, spend a little time in the friend zone.
Hear me out,
The friend zone is so beneficial for a relationship. I know it sucks, and it really does, no sugarcoating here whatsoever. Being friends, and only friends with someone you like is annoying and challenging. By friends, I mean no situationship, no friends with benefits, and no fake relationship.
I know it’s cheesy, but the best things take time.
Being friends with the person is not ideal because when you like someone, you instantly want them to like you back; we want immediate actions and immediate results. I, for one, think being friends with the person is the most important step in a relationship. I have to admit, when I was in the friendzone, it was dreadful, but it helps decipher if a relationship will truly be the end result. While in the friend zone, you learn about the person’s likes and dislikes, you become aware of their redeeming qualities, as well as un-redeemable ones. There is no pressure, and most importantly, you decide if you truly like them.
My good friend, Katie, always told me, “relationships aren’t linear.” It would be perfect if we would all meet someone, go to dinner, fall madly in love, get flowers every week, and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, that doesn’t usually happen. The most quintessential advice I can give if you’re in this position, is to ask your stag crush to do something lowkey AS FRIENDS.
Always do what feels right, patience is key, and remember, people like confident people.
You may be reading this and thinking I’m absolutely insane and have no clue what I’m saying. I agree, it’s valid, but I always rushed into relationships, situationships, and flings that ended terribly. All of those silly rushed commitments taught me that if something is meant to be, it will be. I met someone spectacular, and waited in the friend zone for seven months, and now I’m dating a boy that treats me better than anyone, and most importantly, is my best friend.
I know many of you were probably looking for an in-depth “how to” but everyone is different, as is every relationship. My best and most genuine advice is to become better friends and be confident.
Slow and steady wins the race.
The best way to get to the endzone is to spend a little time in the friend zone.
Good luck!
XO, MK