When you’re bisexual, you end up hearing a lot of crazy things said about bisexuals. Being a bisexual girl brings a kind of stigma along with it. I’m quite proud of being a Bi girl, but there are some things I’m just tired of hearing that can be annoying and harmful.
- “Bisexuals aren’t really a thing!”
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This is quite possibly the worst thing you can say to any bisexual person. The erasure of our sexuality is something bisexuals have to constantly live with. We definitely are a thing. We’ve always been here and will remain here. I know who I am and refuse to have my identity erased.
- “Would you be into threesomes?”
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Not only is this an incredibly invasive question, but it’s something people ask me all the time. When I’m on a date with someone and they ask me this, I know it’s not going to go well. While I’m sure some bisexuals enjoy a threesome, not all of us do. Asking this question isn’t cool or funny, just annoying. Just because someone is attracted to both men and women doesn’t mean she’s into group sex.
- “You’re just doing this for men’s attention”
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The fetishization of bisexual women by men is a serious issue. Reducing bisexuality to something girls do for the attention of boys ends up hyper sexualizing us. Most bisexual girls do not want that type of attention from guys. If anyone is just interested in me for my sexuality and sees me as a fetish, I don’t want that person’s attention.
- “ It’s just a phase”
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Like mentioned before, most bisexual people know who they like and what they identify as. We’re confident in ourselves. I’ve known since I was at least 14 that I liked both men and women. I’m 22 now and I’m still confident in my sexuality. Of course, there might be some people who realize they are lesbian or even straight. That’s valid too. It’s okay to be unsure of your sexuality. But nobody knows anyone’s journey. For many of us, it took a long time to come to terms with our bisexuality, and we’re now confident with that label.
- “Bisexuals cheat”
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Being bisexual has long come with the stigma that we are cheaters. I’ve heard too many people say, “I wouldn’t date a bi girl because I’m afraid she’ll cheat on me with a girl/boy.” It’s a very rude thing to say. Anyone of any sexuality can cheat. Labeling bisexual people as cheaters does a lot of harm to the community and increase biphobia.