This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at FIU chapter.

To block your ex or not to block your ex, that is the question…that we all ask ourselves post-breakup.

Pro: “If I block him, I won’t know what he’s up to and he won’t know what I’m up to.”

Con: “But if I block him… I won’t know what he’s up to and he won’t know what I’m up to.”

It’s truly a dilemma.

Unfortunately, there is no universal answer to this question. Whether or not you should block your ex really depends on you and the situation. If you’re struggling with this question, here are a few things I have learned from my own experience.

TO BLOCK YOUR EX

The the first thing you need to do is make sure you’re ready for this step. This should not be a decision that you make out of impulse. If you decide to block your ex, you can’t add him back the next day when you’re three margaritas into happy hour.

We live in a very interconnected world where social media gives us immediate access to the whereabouts of pretty much anyone. If you are used to having that crutch, then do not throw it away before being ready. You will not heal any quicker… which brings me to my next point.

BLOCK HIM FOR THE RIGHT REASONS

In many relationships, partners become each other’s best friends. So you’re not just losing your boyfriend, but the person you confided in day and night, your secret-keeper. Don’t let your pain, affect the possibility of a future friendship.

If you need time away from the person in order to get over them, but you don’t want them completely out of your life, then make sure your actions post-breakup reflect that. This doesn’t mean that you can’t block him if you feel like it’s what you need, this means that you should block him out of the need for self-healing rather than out of anger.

When you block somebody for the right reasons, you feel more at peace with yourself regarding that decision. If you did it at a moment of anger, you’ll come to regret your decision rather quickly. But if you did it because you truly need some space from the person before you can welcome their friendship, then you will feel at ease with yourself.

BLOCKING SOMEONE IS NOT PETTY

I once had an ex tell me that my having blocked him on social media was petty… that same guy blocked me later on after our attempt to get back together failed.

I have been on both sides. I have blocked and I have been blocked by my ex, and once the dust has settled, I’ve found out from the devil himself that the real reason he blocked me was because it was easier to move on if he didn’t have to see me. Realistically, that is also the reason why I have blocked my exes in the past. It’s my way of saying, “I need you out of my life, at least for the time being.”

Therefore, if you’re concerned that it will come off as petty, you shouldn’t be. Yes, maybe your ex will think you’re being petty but you cannot control what they think about you. What you need to do instead, is make sure you create the appropriate conditions for you to heal and if that means you have to take them off social media for a while, then so be it.

ADDING YOUR EX BACK IS ALLOWED

Depending on how your break up went, you might want to block your ex for the rest of eternity. But, if your break up wasn’t all that bad, and you still want to remain on good terms, then it’s perfectly fine to add him back on social media once you’ve taken your much-needed vacation from him.

Before you click the “Follow” button, make sure you’re actually over this guy and not adding him back simply because you miss him. Be honest with yourself, if you’ve only had him blocked for a week, are you really ready to add him back? No! Do not cheat yourself out of the opportunity to move on.

NOT BLOCKING YOUR EX

Some people go through breakups and not block their exes at all. That’s okay too.

If you feel like having them on social media doe not affect your emotional well being, or at least it doesn’t have a negative effect on it, then by all means, keep him on. You pick the method that works best for you.

If you decide not to block him, however, do it because it was the best decision for you, not because you want to seem like you don’t care. You should not be concerned with what he’ll think when you block him, you should be concerned with how you will feel. Always prioritize your happiness and protect your healing process.

SOURCES

Blocking Your Ex on Social Media: What It Really Means

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