Many people can attest that it is the most amazing feeling being in love. When you’re in love you see the whole world differently. You see the world with your significant other in it and all of a sudden the world becomes your world to live and enjoy with this person. The perfect person. Until you come to find that all that love you had starts to slowly fade. Your significant other isn’t what you thought he or she was and you start to see the world for what it really is. You start to redefine “perfect.” Your reality kicks in. Was I really in love with this person the entire time, or was I in love with what we had potential to be?
When you fall in love with potential, you fall in love with the idea of someone. Predetermined traits, attitudes, and futures are what define your relationship. Instead of basing your so-called “love” on exactly what the person is (flaws and all), you base your love on the idea of what you would like them to be. You conjure up an entirely perfect scenario with a person who might not entirely be perfect for you. With detrimental results.
The only way to fall in love with a reality and not with potential is to know the person’s ins and outs, what makes him or her happy and conversely what makes him or her mad; know the little things about him or her that tick you off and the reality of a future with him or her, and then if you still love the person be with him or her. If you find yourself making excuses, or overlooking certain things about the person because they will one day “change” you are falling in love with a hope that one day this person might be what you expect/hope he or she will be.
It is always essential to know that potential is not real. In your mind the idea of this person could be perfect, but you cannot fall in love with an idea, you have to be in love with a reality. So what to do? Keep grounded and evaluate a situation or potential relationship in its entirety. So that when you fall in love, you fall in love with the reality of someone, not with what you hope they will be like or what they have potential to be.