10 Things I Hate About You, Grease, Dirty Dancing, After, The Vampire Diaries, and Gilmore Girls. What do all of these shows and movies have in common? Well, they all share the common romantic theme of ‘the bad boy falls in love with the good girl’. It’s no doubt that almost every girl wants to find true love in her life. What is the idea of true love that Hollywood is always portraying to the world, though? Sometimes, I want a Damon Salvatore that will do anything to protect me or I want a Johnny Castle that will come sweep me off my feet. The relationships that we see in these shows and films start to act as models that we follow in our lives when looking at relationships.
Nowadays, girls feel like we can’t find any good guys for a relationship, yet we keep falling for the bad boys in hopes of the love that we see on our screens. Sorry to break it to you, but this type of love is toxic. Take Kat and Patrick from 10 Things I Hate About You – Would you want to fall in love with a guy that was paid to go on a date with you? I really hope the answer is “No”. Someone should want to take you out on a date, because they are actually interested in you and not because they can make a little extra money. These movies are made so that in the end, the viewer also falls in love with the bad boys because we see how much they love their girls. News flash – life is not a movie and we need to stop expecting boys to change.
“… in any healthy relationship, open communication is key to dealing with conflict and building a better foundation.”
Monica Sisavat, PopSugar
Imagine being in a turbulent relationship like Hardin and Tessa’s in After and never knowing where you stand or when something is going to take a turn for the worse. It is mentally and emotionally draining to always be left second guessing. As Monica Sisavat from PopSugar stated, “… in any healthy relationship, open communication is key to dealing with conflict and building a better foundation.” Communication skills are clearly something Hardin and Tessa struggled with and is why their relationship is not something we should idolize. Holding each other accountable is also a great part of a relationship. Elena and Damon in The Vampire Diaries are a great example of a couple who does not hold each other accountable for their actions. Damon was not the greatest example of good character and was always harming others to get his way. Elena always found excuses for Damon’s actions while they were together and didn’t hold him accountable. Communication and accountability go hand-in-hand within a relationship and build the foundation of honesty and trust.
It’s hard to take a step back from the media we see and analyze what’s wrong with the loves that look so perfect. Honestly, love is not perfect, but we do need to learn what we deserve for ourselves and others. It’s not okay when a boy makes us feel inferior just because he’s hanging out with his friends – kind of like how Danny made Sandy feel when they reunited at the bonfire in front of the Pink Ladies and the T-Birds. There are many ways to learn to understand what you deserve for yourself, but for now learn from the screen and try to steer clear of the bad boys. Even though we can’t help but fall for them, they are just not good for us.