After Chrissy Teigen shared an emotional post about the recent loss of her and her husband John Legend’s third baby, the Internet has been sharing support for her and other women who have experienced similar losses.
In sharing her story, with so much raw emotion and immediacy, Teigen publicized an issue that affects hundreds of thousands of women in the United States. While the replies to her post are filled with women expressing their condolences or sharing their own stories, some took to Twitter to criticize her actions.
These negative comments have made clear the level of stigma that surrounds pregnancy loss, which includes miscarriages and stillbirths. A pregnancy loss before the 20-week mark is generally considered a miscarriage, while a stillbirth takes place after week 20 of the pregnancy.
Even though estimated that as many as one-fourth of pregnancies end in miscarriage, couples, and especially women, generally deal with these losses privately and in silence. This number has been increasing as women choose to have children later in life.
Expecting couples often wait to announce pregnancies until after the 12-week mark, after which miscarriage is less likely. That way, they can avoid having difficult conversations about the loss if it happens.
While both partners in a relationship experience the loss, the woman who was carrying the baby often experiences a stronger psychological impact. Women search desperately for reasons for their loss and often blame themselves or their bodies, even though many miscarriages are due to age, genetics, or other uncontrollable factors. The difference between men and women’s grieving process can also lead to tensions and issues in the marriage after the loss of a pregnancy.
While the effect of a miscarriage may be the psychological trauma, the body also experiences physical symptoms. Recovery time can take range from a few weeks to over a month, and this can only add to the emotional burden.
Considering how common pregnancy loss is, it is hard to believe that there is still such a stigma around discussing it. The negative comments toward Teigen sharing her experience show that hearing about the issue makes people uncomfortable to the point that they would rather women not speak about it.
Although miscarriage is a private issue, women who have experienced it agree that talking about it helps the grieving process. “I think the conversation around miscarriage and pregnancy loss has really opened up in recent years,” says Gabi Birkner in this Today article. “It’s not just happening in hushed tones or on anonymous message boards.”
With well-known celebrities such as Teigen breaking the standard of broadcasting a perfect life on social media, and speaking frankly about their experiences is a step in the right direction. It encourages other women to discuss their experiences and remind each other that it is common, that they are not alone, and that they are not to blame.
This is an issue that has not directly affected most readers of Her Campus, but it may have affected a family member or loved one. Even if that’s not the case, talking openly about these issues and supporting women that do so is important for everyone who experiences it. Bringing attention to a largely female issue empowers all women to feel confident and comfortable in offering and asking for support.