For a long time, I thought the most important kind of love I could find was romantic love, and so I searched for a soulmate in every guy I dated. I quickly opened up because I am a very trusting person, and I allowed myself to become their go-to for everything and vise versa. They’d give me the bare minimum – almost nothing – and I would still be a best friend and a girlfriend all in one even though I shouldn’t have given so much of myself so quickly. I did all of these things because I thought I would only feel fulfilled in life once I found my soulmate, my person, my other half, but I have now realized that I’d found all of that in friendships.
I know that like romantic relationships, friendships also come to an end, but when you find that soulmate tie in a friend, I feel like it is a connection much more harder to sever than that with any significant other. The truest friendships I have ever had have been maintained for years (I’m talking since elementary and middle school), and I fully believe this is because we were meant to be in each other’s lives. There is no doubt in my mind that my best friend since Junior year of High School is my soulmate, and through her I have found two other people that understand me in ways that I didn’t think I could be understood. Honestly, when I’m with them it feels like we’re in our own version of the sitcom Friends.
Still, I would let myself focus too much on romantic failures. And place too much importance on romances that were clearly just meant to be fleeting. I’d do all of this and cause myself unnecessary suffering without fully appreciating what was right in front of me. And that is a group of people that accepts every part of me (even the darkest ones) and is always there for me, even when we are states apart or haven’t seen each other in months.
I am recounting my own experiences because I am now content and grateful with the fact that I have definitely found soulmate love in numerous friendships, and that is love that really can last a lifetime. This has freed me from the romantic expectations I used to have, and I feel like I am a million times more appreciative of the little moments and just the simplicity of life in general.
“Sometimes, it’s your best friend who makes you feel whole and who understands you the most when the world doesn’t understand you at all.”
Sylvester McNutt III
Moral of the story is: if you’re feeling sad or alone just because you haven’t found that person yet, take a look again because you might have a group of people instead. And sometimes that’s even more important!