Growing up as a hopeless romantic, I always loved watching a lot of romance happily ever after movies and reading a lot of very cute romance books that had the main theme of the friends turning to lovers story archetype. Every time I would finish watching these types of movies or reading these types of books, I couldn’t help but find myself daydreaming about what my future relationship would be like and how I would be living out my fairytale happily-ever-after love story.
During middle school and high school, I used to wonder how great it would be to have a relationship. I would plan out in my head all the amazing things that would take place in my future relationship with both of us spending a lot of time together and having really cute experiences with each other, such as baking Christmas cookies and going ice skating in the magical and romantic Christmas season. Whenever I would think about getting into a relationship I would only think of all the good moments that could take place. I never stopped to realize that there is another side to relationships that challenges your self-growth.
Looking back, I realize now that despite how much I yearned for a relationship as a teenager, it was a good thing I wasn’t because after doing a lot of self-reflection I realized that there was no way I would have been able to handle one back then. In those years, I was very insecure and would seek validation from people. I used to believe if I got a boyfriend all the self-esteem and insecurities issues I had faced would magically go away.
It has been over a year that I have gone through a tremendous amount of self-growth and have finally dealt with a lot of my past self-esteem issues and insecurities. I realized that seeking validation from other people, especially from a significant other is the wrong thing to do. I learned if I wanted to become the best version of myself I needed to accept myself for who I am.
I did not want a relationship to be the determining factor in how I viewed my self-worth. I wanted to know myself before getting into a relationship because I did not want to measure my self-worth and who I am as a person by the way my relationship may be going.
I want to be 100% sure that if any inconvenient circumstances were to occur in my future relationship, I would be able to handle any situation with maturity. Most importantly, I want to be ensured that no matter what does or does not happen I will never lose sight of who I am as a person rather I can continue building my inner self-worth and confidence.
I know who I am, and I will continue to love myself as I keep my head held high in confidence!
