I’ve always struggled with decision-making. I get stressed, overthink, and blame myself when things go wrong. This changed the day I watched Ruth Chang’s TED Talk, How to Make Hard Choices. She gave me insight as to why I was getting so overwhelmed by choices, and how to fix that. Today I’m here to share what I learned.
Chang starts her talk with a simple question: Why are hard choices hard?
When we face two alternatives that don’t have an obvious winner, our brains take it as a task to figure out which option is “better.” We assume that one choice must be superior, and that making the “right” choice will lead to the best outcome. But as Chang explains, that’s a mistaken way to approach hard choices. If one option was genuinely better, making decisions would be straightforward. You could just list pros and cons and pick the option with more pros. But this doesn’t work with hard choices because neither option is objectively better.
This is where Chang introduces the idea of the alternatives being “at par”—options that have similar value but lead to different consequences. They aren’t the same, but they are not better or worse than each other.
Chang goes on to explain the concept of normative power: the natural ability we all have to create reasons for ourselves. This is a crucial idea because it shows that choices are not about finding the objectively “best” option, but instead, they’re about creating reasons that matter to us. These personal reasons give us clarity, even if the choice is difficult.
Using normative power allows us to take ownership of our decisions, regardless of the outcome. When we consciously choose based on our values and reasons, we can handle any resulting consequences, whether they’re positive or negative, because we understand why we made that choice. By creating reasons and committing to an option, we’re actively engaging with our lives. Instead of feeling forced to choose an option just because it seems “better,” we choose because we believe in the reasons behind our choice.
With Ruth Chang’s advice in mind, I now find making “hard” choices much easier. With the mindset she presented, decision-making transforms from an anxiety-ridden process into an opportunity to actively shape our lives.