I don’t know who needs to hear this. I know I needed to hear it. There are aspects of relationships that are meant to be discovered over time and with your partner, but there are also things in relationships that are not meant to be negotiable, they’re simply the bare minimum foundation that makes a relationship. If your partner isn’t giving you these things, then that’s a big sign they’re not your person. As someone who literally begged someone for the bare minimum in a relationship, I now know what is and isn’t acceptable in a relationship going forward.
This first one you’d think is a given, but unfortunately, it isn’t for some people. Cheating. Cheating in any which way is the biggest red flag and should be the thing that makes you run in the other direction. No matter what they tell you or try to convince you of, there is no excuse for cheating. Because someone who truly loved you and wants you in their life has no need or desire to cheat. Some people think that cheating only takes its form physically. This is not true. Flirting, entertaining, giving attention to anyone who isn’t your partner is cheating. Being on dating apps while in a relationship is cheating. Asking other girls for explicit pictures is cheating. Emotional cheating is a thing. Don’t let a cheater gaslight you into thinking that none of these things matter or are a “big deal.” Once a cheater, always a cheater.
You and your partner should be able to communicate easily. Being able to address issues, talk about them, and come to an agreement is all part of communication. If you’re bringing up issues that bother you in the relationship and your partner shuts you down or diminishes them, that’s a red flag. Communication allows you to set up healthy boundaries. A partner who doesn’t value or respect will cross boundaries to the point they’re nonexistent in your relationship.
This is also a given but has to be reiterated. Spending time together. Your partner should want to see you and make time for you. It’s okay to be busy and by no means do I mean that your partner has to change their whole life and schedule around you, we all have busy lives. However, you should never feel like you’re at the bottom of the list in your partner’s life.
Sometimes we accept the bare minimum and fewer people we love because we cling to the hope that one day they’ll change. One day they’ll wake up and give you what you deserve. The reality of this is that unfortunately, this mindset is a reflection of your insecurity, which may be caused by this person. When you learn to love yourself and know your worth and value, you learn to not accept what you don’t deserve. Don’t let someone who doesn’t deserve you, give you less than what you deserve.