College relationships can be beautiful, messy, fun, or tragic, but the bottom line is that the relationships, nor the breakups are to be feared for what they are. Some avoid breakups because they fear being alone, others avoid relationships altogether in attempts to dodge the meltdowns and heartbreaks that comes along with it. But fear not, ladies, college breakups can (they really can!) be a life changing learning experience. Here’s 3 reasons why:
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You are not alone
A study for The Rosie Project (via her.ie), shows that women will go through an average of seven relationships in their life. Think of all the women you’ve ever met- classmates, professors, parents, aunts, friends- even the strongest and most empowered women go through multiple breakups and still manage to come out of it better than ever. So, before totally freaking out and feeling alone, just talk to someone. Odds are, they will know what you are going through, and you’ll end up feeling more understood than you ever thought you were. Sometimes you may even end up bonding with someone, swapping out that short term relationship for a life-long friend.
It happens to the best of us. People come and people go. Just remember that YOU are the main character in your life story so YOU are the one that determines where it goes. But you are never alone in your journey.
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Notice the doors that open for you
Once you become the number one priority in your life, you start to see doors opening for you left and right- I’m dead serious about this! All of a sudden your time is freed up, and you actually DO have time to take on that internship, and you CAN plan a impulsive girls trip across the country, and you WILL meet other, incredibly interesting people, and hey what the heck, you SHOULD dye your hair that color you always wanted. When I had a long distance boyfriend, I didn’t realize how detached I was from the Fordham community until we broke up. Being able to focus my energy on my present community made me feel more comfortable in the environment and opened doors for me to be more involved than I would have otherwise been.
When your emotional blockage (which in this case is your toxic relationship or breakup) is lifted off of your shoulders and put behind you, you will be amazed at all of the opportunities that are suddenly visible that weren’t before. This is one of the only times in your life that is dedicated to your own self creation and betterment- so focus on yourself for once!
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Remember: It’s always a learning experience
Losing someone in a breakup does not mean that you lose any part of yourself. Know that within you, there is a much greater purpose. Often times, we think our significant other is the only one keeping us from falling apart. Well let me tell you- sometimes what you think is keeping you together is actually just holding you down. So take this experience. Own it, feel it, learn from it, create something amazing because of it, and finally, grow out of it! Just do anything but fear it.
*and always remember: Fordham offers amazing confidential psychological and counseling services in the basement of O’Hare hall and can be reached at (718)-817-3725