Entering (or returning to) college brings abundance of joy, especially in the fall semester: reuniting with old friends or meeting new ones, sweater weather, fresh new school supplies, and endless opportunities. However, for many of us, the first few weeks of college also bring stress, anxiety, and homesickness. If you ever find yourself feeling lonely or out-of-place while you’re away at school, you’re not alone. As a junior in college, I have experienced homesickness and anxiety almost every semester as I transition from living at home with my family to moving back into my home at college. Though I always enjoy the semester, the first few weeks can be difficult as I struggle to form new routines and adjust to my “new normal”. This year, as we begin transitioning back to in person classes, that anxiety is even more heightened. If adjustments and changes are difficult for you too, read on for some strategies that have worked for me over the years to tame the anxiety and homesickness that can sometimes feel overwhelming.
- Distract, distract, distract!
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It is super easy to feel nervous or homesick when you are sitting by yourself in your dorm room. To stop those anxious thoughts, it is important that you keep yourself busy within the first few days and weeks of the new semester with distractions. Freshman often have orientation the first few days, which keeps them busy. But if you are an upperclassman or a freshman that has already completed orientation, sometimes it is hard to think of things to do – especially when your coursework is still light at the beginning of the semester. Some things that have worked for me include going for a long walk around campus with a friend or while listening to a podcast, joining as many clubs as possible and going to all the meetings within the first few weeks, going shopping for snacks (or groceries, if you have a kitchen), mapping out the semester using a planner or calendar, and making plans with friends to go out to lunch, watch a movie, or go shopping.
- understand that what you’re feeling is normal
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Though it is important to keep busy as much as possible, it is virtually impossible to be doing something every single second of the day. So when those anxious thoughts inevitably creep in, remind yourself that college students all over the world struggle with adapting to a new environment. Though they may not be posting about it on Instagram or Snapchat, odds are someone you know is also feeling lonely or uncomfortable. Different people struggle with different things; if homesickness or adapting to change is something you struggle with, there is no need to be ashamed. Moreover, missing home is even sometimes a good thing. Think of the legendary One Tree Hill quote: “It’s hard missing someone, but if you miss someone that means you’re lucky; it means you had someone in your life worth missing” (thank you, Nathan Scott!). This quote applies to missing something just as much as it does to missing someone. If you miss home, you will learn to be even more grateful for the people and places you experience there when you visit next.
- find a trusted confidant
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Announcing your homesickness or anxiety to every single person you meet might not be the best idea, but finding one or two people you can talk to when you feel down helps tremendously. These conversations could take many forms: you could call your mom, sibling, grandparent, or hometown friend on the phone, you could ask a friend at your college to go on a walk or for lunch, or you could reach out to your university’s counseling staff to set up an appointment with a counselor. Letting all of your emotions out will relieve you of a heavy burden. In choosing your confidant, try to find someone who will be both understanding and motivating. Don’t call your mom if you know she is just going to tell you to drop out of school and come home. Don’t talk to your best friend if you know she hates her hometown and would never understand your position. Talk to someone who will empathize with you but will also help you figure out steps you can take to make yourself feel more comfortable.
- know that it will get better
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In every stage of life, we experience good and bad moments. Expecting that college will be filled solely with fun and happiness is unrealistic. Understand that everyone has different struggles during their time in college, and that just like bad moments you’ve experienced at home, this feeling will pass. Before you know it, it will be November and you will be too busy with schoolwork, clubs, and social activities to remember that you miss your hometown. Feelings don’t last forever. Allow yourself to push through the pain or worry you may be experiencing while reminding yourself that one day, things won’t seem so hard.
Hopefully, these tips will help you cope with any homesickness or anxiety you may be feeling. However, if you feel you are in psychological distress, please reach out to your school’s counseling team or call for help immediately. Happy Fall Semester!