Dearest Collegiettes,
Recently, we have had the misfortune of seeing our freshman year of college come to a close. It’s so weird to think that eight short months ago, our worlds were packed up in the car and dropped in boxes in a strange new room, alongside a complete stranger. Since then, so much has happened. There have been incredible highs, and devastating lows, but in the end, this year was one for the books. We have spent so much time exploring the greatest city in the world, from Brooklyn to the BX, and have loved every inch of it — except maybe, of course, Fordham Road but like, whatever. Since meeting officially for the first time on move-in day, Lauren and I’s relationship has gone from “the daughter of the people who my parents lived with for a brief time after college” (true story, we’ll save it for another day), to being someone who I couldn’t imagine my life without. Her friendship has taught me more about myself and how to be a good friend than anyone I’ve ever known. We have experienced this year together from day one, and I can truly only imagine the antics that we will get up to in the coming years. Did I mention that one time a dirty Sunchips bag flew off the sidewalk on Hoffman at like 2AM and got stuck to Lauren’s face? Lolz, classic. ANYWAYS, we learned a lot about each other this year, but it didn’t stop at that.
We learned about the importance of finding people who will be your cheering section, shoulder to cry on, and bad influence on Friday nights when Pugsley’s seems like the only logical way to end the night. We each have written our own separate letters as a toast, to both of our best years yet, and are looking forward to what sophomore year has in store for us.
PS: For graduating seniors reading this, I’m sorry if we sound ridiculously naïve, over-dramatic or eager, but for everyone’s sake, just let it happen. Senior year Tina and Lauren are probably going to look back at this and shake our heads, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.
HC xo
Christina & Lauren
Dear Freshman Year,
Where did the time go? Seriously, this is madness. It feels like just yesterday my mom and I had to wear our sunglasses during move-in to hide our constant tears. I was so terrified to start my four years at Fordham, not knowing how incredible my time here would be. It is crazy to think about everything that has happened since the beginning of the year, and everything that I have learned. Some of the most important things I learned about myself this year came from being alone and independent, but also through relationships I have built (and lost) with people around me.
If I had to pick five things to take away from this year, they would be as follows:
1. Everything falls into its rightful place
At the beginning, everyone is trying to know as many people as possible, to see where they fit in. After a few months of the scramble to fit in, you find your “people.” People who are on the same page as you, who understand your goals and desires, and who will support you, no matter what. The awkward “are we friends?” fades away, and everything settles down.
Another thing that finally worked itself out for me was the roommate thing. I was randomly placed into a horrible rooming situation (she wore diapers, need I say more??), but it eventually was sorted and looking back, I grew from it. Because of the situation imposed upon me, I was forced to be super extroverted and make friends on my own, outside of the room we shared. It taught me to be respectful of someone else’s living space, and although I did grow stronger from that experience, I was beyond relieved when I moved out. Now, living with my best friend, I have truly learned what it is to be a roommate and appreciate her company so much more. No matter how tough things get, whether its relationships or living situations, I really do believe that patience is key because everything works itself out in time.
2. Step outside your comfort zone
Okay, most cliché piece of advice ever given before starting college, but it is so real. The only way I was able to make friends was by reaching out to people and forcing myself out of my usual comfort zone. Was I terrified to knock on my neighbors’ doors on move-in day? Of course! But, it paid off in the long run. Breaking the ice is always awkward, but if someone’s gotta do it, why not me?
This also applies to getting involved on campus. There truly is nothing more important than finding your footing within a group of people who like the same things you do. It allows you to build a network of friends who are not necessarily in your class, but are people who you can look to as role models for where you see yourself being in a few years. I found this incredibly helpful and think that in order to really be able to develop as a person, you need to be comfortable with sharing your passions with others. Joining clubs and organizations made a huge difference in my freshman year, and I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like had I not gone out of my comfort zone to join.
3. Don’t sacrifice who you are for the sake of others
I learned that people who truly belong in your life will cherish you, as you are. Becoming friends with people and wanting them to like you is hard enough as it is, why bother trying to make people like someone who isn’t really you? Changing to make people accept you is so counteractive in this way because you lose sight of your goals and values instead of allowing them to thrive. It took a lot for me to come to terms with the fact that some people just aren’t going to like certain things about me. In the end it really just took stepping away from some situations to realize relationships shouldn’t be about sacrificing things that are important to you. If the other person really cared about you, it wouldn’t matter if they didn’t feel the same way about a certain thing as you, they’d support you and the things that make you happy. It was a tough lesson to learn, but I realized that there is absolutely no room in my life for anyone who belittles not only me, but also the things I am passionate about. No matter how great you think they might be, that is not what friendship is meant to be.
4. Know who your real friends are
Again, it’s hard to make friends at the beginning when everyone has a front up that is hiding who they really are in order to impress others. Once people took down the walls and showed their true character, though, that’s where I learned a lot this year. I found there was a lot of fake happy that went on for a while, but once the cracks started coming, they didn’t stop. I think it’s really interesting that when you are in the most pain, and going through a tough time, you come out of it knowing so much more about yourself. I learned so much about myself and the person I hold myself to be while watching a few of my closest relationships fall to shambles.
I came to the conclusion that at this point in my life, there is absolutely no excuse for keeping toxic friends around. In high school, it was different. You had to keep toxic people around because if not, the whole school would know you were fighting, and people would take sides, and you’d be left with no one. At this point, though, that is not the case, and there is literally not a single reason to sustain toxic relationships. There are thousands of students at this school, and millions of people in New York City, why lock yourself into relationships that only bring you down? Finding people who will cheer you on in everything you do, no matter their own personal interest in it, are the real deal, and the ones I learned to appreciate immensely this year.
5. GPA doesn’t define your worth
At a school where the core is your worst enemy, GPA is a gray area and is something that causes a lot of controversy. In high school, I graduated in the top of my class, never got a C in my life, but when getting grades back in December, I was beyond thrilled to receive my first C — Computer Science. I worked harder for that grade than I had for any A I ever received, and I was thrilled. When sharing my excitement, though, I did not get the congratulatory responses that I thought I would, from friends at the least. Instead, I heard a lot of, “Well, you can bring your GPA up next semester,” which is when I realized: my GPA means nothing to anyone but myself. If I’m proud of the work I put in, no one can tell me it’s not enough. If I wanted to have a 4.0, for me, that would mean sacrificing the time I have put into gaining real-life experience. I have been able to balance my time between interning and participating in clubs on campus in order build my resume, all while sustaining an average GPA. For me, that’s more important than an employer looking down and seeing a blank resume with a 4.0 in bold font at the top. In all, I learned that to get all that I can from my time at Fordham, I need to put in hard work, and be proud of the grades that I receive. My GPA does not define my worth, nor does it reflect the passion I have for achieving my long-term goals.
In all, thank you, freshman year, for teaching me some of the greatest lessons of my life. I am more independent, confident and inspired than ever, and I have you to thank. It has been a crazy transition, but I am so excited to do it all again in the fall.
xoxo, C
To the greatest year of my life –
I truly cannot find the words to thank you enough. The things that you have brought me have made me so entirely grateful. Not only have I watched myself grow from a hesitant and young college freshman to an excited, passionate, and academically, socially, and culturally immersed Fordham student, I have gained insight to the greatest city and school in the world. I have learned an incredible amount from my studies (which is why we’re all here), but I would like to mainly talk about the other reasons why this year was the best one I have ever experienced.
I will be the first to say I hated high school. While I was there and living in the moment, sure, it wasn’t bad. That is only because I didn’t know what was ahead of me. Some of my friends who I thought would be friends forever had no problem letting me go, and I took that as my time to fly. I moved into my dorm in August ready to make a new family tree, full of friends who loved me for who I was, something I had to work for before. I learned that finding soulmates, finding best friends who appreciate me for everything I am and not putting me down is a real thing. Those beautiful people exist everywhere. Not only that, I moved in with a crazy desire to know New York. That’s been a dream I have had for my entire life and now that I live here, the infinite ways to discover this city are in the palm of my hand. I took advantage of that, and that was so crucial to my freshman year. Ultimately, the people you meet, the lessons you learn, and the discoveries you make are what truly craft your first year of college and the way you handle that makes all the difference.
To friendships: I never knew love like this was real. It always seemed there was a certain way I had to act to maintain friendships, but that is the biggest falsehood I think I’ve ever come across. Being myself is what it took to know to the most amazing people I have ever met. I have no doubt in my mind the friends I have connected with here are the people I hold nearest to my heart. I am so lucky to be able to have the people I do in my life and it is all because of the freshman year rollercoaster I couldn’t wait to ride. These people who have made me so incredibly happy and who have seen absolutely all of me and love me for it, will always be unforgettable.
To negativity: Whatever form negativity decides to take, whether it be people who get you down or in the form of a stigmatized number that you’re nervous to say is your GPA, I say f o r g e t i t. Seriously. Obviously, working hard in school is magnificently important. In fact, it’s the most important thing to do while studying at a university. By forgetting about the negativity, I mean to say that your GPA never defined you, and it never will. Be proud of the hard work you put in and stop comparing yourself to others. When I finally figured out that college isn’t a competition in self-worth but a place to discover your self-worth, my outlook changed drastically. If I’m proud of myself and the hard work I put in to whatever I’m doing, that’s what matters. In regard to negative people – PSA: only spend your time with people who make you HAPPY. You don’t need anyone in your life who makes you feel anything other than happy to be around them. If someone is perfectly willing to upset you, they’re not worth your time. There are so many people here to get to know. Find the people who make you smile and look out for your very best interests. Let the others go.
To ❤: I won’t lie, I’ve always been scared to open my heart to someone because what if it broke? What if things went wrong? I decided that among the rest of the chances I would take in my new life at school, I would take the chance of not shying away from that idea. By doing so, fate introduced me to the most amazing guy and everything changed. Don’t be afraid of what could happen, open your heart to the possibility of love. You might just meet someone who continuously takes your breath away.
To New York City: I love you. Thank goodness I have three more glorious years to spend exploring you and looking around at you while thinking “is this really my life?” I have never been so entranced by something so beautiful before. Within this city lies infinite opportunities that I will never cease to appreciate. This city holds life and beauty and motion that will forever motivate me to continue to try new things and take chances. It will always push me to meet new people and try my best to make a difference in this world.
It is so hard to see the most vivacious and beautiful months of my life float into the past as I enter the summer before my second year of college. However, I look back on all of the memories I have made this year and all of the things I have learned that have helped shape this new life I’ve created for myself and can’t help but smile. I am so beyond lucky to be here and I can’t wait to continue to see my dreams come true. I’ll never forget you, freshman year. For now, you have my heart.
Sincerely,
Lauren Winn
This year has done so much for the two of us. Not only did it bring us together, which is one of the things we are forever grateful for, it made us courageous and independent. We took risks and had fun and explored one of the greatest loves we have in common: New York. This year is the transition into the rest of our lives and “excitement” is a major understatement for how we feel about moving forward with the incredible endeavor we know as college and the future. Have the best summer you’ve had yet, collegiettes. We’ll see you in the fall.
Always,
Christina and Lauren