First off, I wanted to say that this is a public place and it’s not weird for you to be here. But, as I’m waiting for my friend to come out of the bathroom, I can’t help but just look at my phone. I look at my phone because I want you to know that I have contact with someone else and that someone knows where I am. I’m sorry that I’m making this weirder than it has to be because you’re literally just standing there waiting for your sister, but I don’t know that. I want to apologize for making you a predator when you were just standing there.
I also want to apologize for giving you an aggressive look while I’m walking past you alone. I had shopping bags in my hands, making me unable to defend myself. I was on my way to my car that was pretty far from the store I was shopping at. I saw you walking toward me and there was no one else around. I wanted you to know that I was not someone to mess with. I also want to apologize for the dirty look I gave you when I was at the bar with my friends and I made eye contact with you. You just happened to look at me when I looked at you. You saw it as a mere glance but I took it as a threat. Both times I gave you a dirty look, you were doing what I was doing: shopping and enjoying a night with friends.
Also to the guy that I was walking in front of on the sidewalk while I was walking to my car, or to a building, or home. Sorry that I kept looking back at you and then picking up my speed. You just seemed too close and it was so dark that I couldn’t look at your face. Sorry for thinking that if you were a woman that I would be safer.
To the man that teaches me, sorry for insisting on keeping your office door open while talking to me. I know the outside noise is loud and that it would best to have a quiet meeting. But I don’t know if just because you’re older doesn’t mean that you’re not stronger. You’re just trying to help me and I’m on my edge of my seat, trying not to be too nice.
I’m sorry that this won’t be the last time that I do this to you. This won’t be the last time that I don’t smile back at you because I don’t want you thinking the wrong thing. I’m sorry that I’ll be basically holding my breath every time I’m alone with you in the elevator beacause I’m trying my best to be invisible. I’m sorry that you’re a good person, but I can’t let my guard down. Because once I do, who knows what kind of man I smile at, or what kind of guy I allow to see me alone.