For a good chunk of my childhood, my immediate family and I were Jehovah’s Witnesses. Yes, the people who knock on your door asking you if you have found the truth yet. Another part of the religion many know about is that that they don’t celebrate any holidays. No presents Christmas morning or on your birthday, no trick-or-treating. When I was 9 my parents’ left the religion and I celebrated my “firsts”. But, with lack of practice my first Christmas present ever was a Rubrics Cube and a discounted calendar for that year (instead a new calendar starting on New Year’s!). But, my younger self was just happy to finally “get” what the other kids in class talked about. It was nice not sitting in the corner around Easter while the other kids did a scavenger hunt. Years later, even although I participate in the holidays now I still don’t completely “get it”.
1. I just don’t get some of the traditions
Yankee-what? My first Yankee swap senior year of high school, I asked them what they had against the Red Sox. Also, why are children sitting on random guys laps, what’s up with the Christmas cards that no one wants to take and to my knowledge no one cares to receive?
2. What’s up with the Christmas music?
Why is everyone listening to the same 5 songs on a loop every year? Why does this start 2 months before Christmas? Why so much Mariah? Why so little Lennon? I JUST DON’T GET IT.
3. Stressing over a family get together
If y’all hate each other so much why are you putting so much effort in being together? Why do you HAVE to invite that racist uncle?
4. Classic gross things that people consume this time of year
I can kind of see why people like eggnog. But, Fruitcake? Panettone (a term I just heard this year, but have yet to get what is has to do with X-mas), Jell-O-salad.
5. “Merry Christmas”
We don’t talk any other time of the year, why start now (cough neighbors who hate us every other month that isn’t December cough) Also, aren’t we supposed to say happy holidays instead of assuming?
6. How being called a Grinch is an insult
He is the most intriguing and hilarious character of any Christmas themed anything I’ve ever watched. But in all honesty, it’s not like I’ve seen too many of those.
7. Gift Giving and receiving
I never know how to react to getting a gift, even if it’s something I like and especially when I don’t. And, I never know what to give people and I always manage to offend one or two people with my lack of gift giving. I don’t expect one from you, why do I have to get you one?
Well here’s too possibly getting “it” someday