Okay let’s be real: it gets hard being single during the holidays. And with cuffing season quickly approaching, it is important to take the time to reflect on what you really want.
This is the first time I have been single during spooky season in four years. To be quite honest, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Lately I have found myself feeling really out of it and can’t focus on some small things. I was so used to being surrounded with love all the time that it became difficult to spend so much time alone.
I recently downloaded Tinder, went on a few interesting dates, and quickly realized that single life probably isn’t all that it’s hopped up to be. Now I have started to reflect on my romantic life and figure out what I really want. I guess I miss being comfortable with someone; ya know the nights in, talking about your day with someone who is genuinely interested. This isn’t to say I want to rush into another relationship because that would probably lead to disaster. But I do want someone to spend my time with.
I recently saw something on Twitter that said something to the extent of: if you’re not dating to get married, then you’re dating to break up. If that doesn’t stress you out, I don’t know what will (besides climate change of course). So, as you can see, it’s all very confusing when you want to be loved but don’t want the commitment.
My time alone, although a little draining, has made me into a very different person than who I was four months ago. I am a lot bolder, I put myself first, and I want to be with someone who brings out the best parts of me. I will no longer settle for someone who I just enjoy being around, but rather someone who shares my goals and values.
I have discovered that being your own boo is good for a little while. It helps you weed out all of the people that don’t deserve to be in your life. It’s also a great time to splurge on yourself, to say heck it, and do something crazy. I have decided to take this time to do all the things I forgot to do when I was in a relationship, like love myself for who I really am.
I’m not sure when love will roll down my path again, or when I’ll stop being afraid of commitment, but I’m sure it’ll be unexpected. To my readers: when you’re eventually ready to step out of the single zone, just be open to whatever happens, because it’s either a lesson or it’s love, boo.