Sometimes, no, most of the time, boys suck. I’m not going to go and explain all of the reasons why they suck— I mean it’s pretty self-explanatory. So instead, I’m going to tell you all of the reasons why I don’t need them!Â
And if you’re a boy reading this, well, read another article.
Recently, I had the wonderful opportunity to break up with my long-distance boyfriend a week before Valentine’s Day. I guess you could say that love wasn’t in my air. I could always pretend that I was super badass and broke his heart and told him that he didn’t deserve me and that he’ll never find anyone like me. At the rate my fingers are flying over my keyboard, I could make this run-on sentence five whole pages, but I think you get the point. The ugly truth was that I was completely crushed. Like, I cried so much that I gave myself an ear infection. It felt like he stomped all over my heart and then walked away. The worst part about the break-up was that I had no idea what to do with myself afterward. I was so absorbed in my relationship that I sort of lost sight of who I was as a person. After the breakup, the first two and a half weeks sucked just as much as my ex. But now, I can’t believe I ever let some dumb creature with a penis obliterate my heart.Â
The reason I’m telling you about my breakup isn’t that I’m writing a How To Get Over Your Ex step-by-step guide, it’s because I’m writing one about how I learned to love myself first. As cliché as the phrase, “In order to love others, you have to love yourself first” sounds, it’s kinda true. For me, the secret ingredient to loving myself was simply getting to know myself. I mean sure, it’s way easier said than done, but I went from thinking I’m not good enough for anyone, to you know what, I don’t actually need anyone! I used to dread doing things alone because I hated being stuck with my own thoughts and insecurities. Now, I talk to myself so much that people probably see me on campus and think I’m crazy.
There’s a very specific quote that altered my entire way of living. I even have the quote scribbled on a sticky note pasted above my desk. It says, “If you waste your time chasing butterflies, they will always fly away. But if you spend your time making a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come to you.” Oftentimes, I spend so much time wishing and waiting for something extraordinary to blossom into my life. However, the extraordinary doesn’t come from boys or internships or good grades or whatever used to make me wake up in the morning, it comes from within me. And believe it or not, all those little insecurities that caused my face to twist with contempt are what make me human! I’m sorry, but the world would be pretty boring if everyone looked the same.Â
So yeah, boys suck, but that’s old news. What doesn’t suck is me. Sometimes, when I need a little more encouragement than just a quote about butterflies, I check out a self-help book. Personally, I recommend “You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero. I think the title speaks for itself. So yeah, I’m a badass, and I’m learning to remember that!
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